Ever since I was promoted in BJJ, I realized something that has changed my game and outlook. I started not giving a shit about winning or losing. I used to think that at a certain level, I have to beat anyone lower ranked. It stifled me on the mats and off it as well in life in general. I was so focused on proving I was worth my spot, and that I was “better” than most of those things I faced. Since I returned to training, I knew there are a lot of people at Clockwork that are faster, stronger, younger, more flexible, and just more athletic than I am (but obviously not as good-looking). So I worked hard to try to beat those facts.
I’ve been a fan of former Navy SEAL and speaker/businessman Jocko WIllink. I loved the books I read of his, and I enjoy reading and hearing his interviews. One thing his books have pointed out is the idea of “Good” if something bad happens. Didn’t get the job? Good, go out and get hired somewhere you are wanted. Lost that contract you were working for? Good, make yourself even more valuable to get an even better one. And so n and so forth. He also believes that you prepare and fight to the end, but if things don’t go your way move on to the next thing armed with the knowledge of what worked and what didn’t.
How does that apply to my hobby, you say? Simple: I don’t give a shit if I win or lose a round. I don’t care if the second-week white belt submits me, since I may have been trying to do something new and screwed it up. I don’t care if I get the blackbelt in a takedown, hey I know I can get that to work. I just go to training, have fun, and not focus on winning, but on exploring what I can do in different situations. Use the Rolodex in my head of all the knowledge I have accumulated over the years. The other week the coach who runs the morning sessions noticed how I have changed in how I roll and said “I don’t know if it’s the belt of the weight loss, but you are being more daring and your game has changed. I don’t know what brain juice you are drinking but you’re not just going through steps but moving much more freely.”
The best way I can say how I approach training now is how great hitters like Manny Ramirez looked at hitting: they went up to the plate, whatever happened and then the at-bat is over. Move on to the next one and not dwell on the last one. Though, I haven’t screamed out “¡COÑO!” Or “¡MAMAHUEVO!” When I have gotten stuffed or swept yet…The Dominicans reading this got a laugh.
Speaking of Manny and his choice to react to getting robbed of a home run:
In life, I am trying to apply this, where it’s not important all the time to win, but it’s nice too. If you don’t there’s something else to move on to with some knowledge. I have a lot of knowledge to move on in life, and try to be better. This way of doing things has started to stop having me so laser-focused and looking around with a wider lens. I’m seeing more options on many things and I”m trying to be bolder and daring with what I do, since even failing has something to gain from it.
Side note: I would love to get more involved in the BJJ community, and thought of trying my hand a teaching outside of helping white belts and new guys in class. I have to see what the protocol is at my school about it, I don’t want to go rogue, and piss anyone off.
Notary business is started, and I’m tackling LinkedIn sending notes to anyone and everyone I can think of to get any bites. Again, putting myself out there and learning.