"Bring your own device"="Yes I'll be your corporate slave"

BYOD=Bring your own device.  It’s a growing trend in business that employees bring their personal phones, tablets, computers, etc. to their jobs and use them, rather than the company having to pay for, distribute and maintain their own equipment.  On the surface it sounds cool and convenient-you know what you are working with, and aren’t switching between devices to work and play on.  But after today’s experience, I will never allow that to happen with my equipment.

I don’t get it.  Why would you allow your professional life and personal life intertwine like that, especially on something that you have on you all the time-which means your job has you on call all the time?  Why would you potentially have some stranger in the IT department have access to your information?  Not only access to your information, but give him the ability to put software on your devices that the company controls, and can potentially harm something else in your device?  To me that’s just plain stupid.  Also, after so many years, infrastructure of some companies are  embedded in one company’s product, that trying to put your personal device on can be problematic for both you and your workflow.  It makes no sense to me.

So lets say I’m one of the morons that allows this-maybe I was drugged or drunk at the time I said yes-and I’m on vacation.  Since my corporate email and apps are with me because I allowed them to be put on my personal phone, that means anyone in the company can contact me about work.  When one goes out of the office-whether it be sick day, personal day, vacation, or simply the work day is over-they should not be bothered with work unless they said they will be working from home (another thing I sort of have issue with).  I’ve made it a personal rule to first off tell everyone I do not want to be bothered about work when I am away, and if they bother me while I’m on vacation or sick, I either totally ignore their calls or emails (even deleting them before opening them), or if they are constant pests, be a pain in the ass on the phone.  But since some morons want to tie their corporate communications with their personal communications, they are agreeing to this nonsense and are almost obligated to be “on call”.  Unless you have “Dr.” in front of your name, or you are in a job where it’s an emergency services profession, you should NOT be on call.  When the workday is done, so is checking your corporate communications.  It can wait until you are on the clock.  

Wait, you say the company compensates you by paying part or all of your cell phone bill in return?  Let me ask you: is the headache and knowledge that you are chained you your desk via your own doing work the money you supposedly save?  Is it worth the lost time from being at the call of your company-that unless you got interest in or are the owner you are just a hired hand-saving that money?

My time is MY TIME, my phone is MY PHONE.  ANy work-related stuff on it will be kept to a minimum and whatever crap they give me for work will be put on the side when I get home and on weekends/vacations.    

Intersting reading and my analysis on a report about my old company

I was looking for a piece of information on my old employer and came across this:

http://www.dfs.ny.gov/insurance/exam_rpt/10839f08.pdf

It’s an interesting read, seeing how the company worked and still works.  I can talk about it, it was online and made publicly available (I found it on Google).  I also never signed anything that said I can't speak about the company.  Although this came out a year a go and is based on 2008 info, it’s still ran as shoddy and and shady today.  Some of the highlights of it is:

-In the data they had been provided, the company was almost $5 million in the hole

-The board is all related to each other, and it's almost incestuous if you look at it and how the entire board lives in one town.​

-The two law firms set up by the board, and who happens to be partners in said law firms, are in essence shell operations.  The insurance company does all the legwork, and the lawyers that are hired for the firm are nothing more that stand-ins for hearings.  Doesn’t matter of they win or lose, the firm gets paid by the insurance company, which means the board of the insurance company gets paid and gets to write off the loss on the insurance company end

-The bookkeeping seems shady, where payments don’t seem consistent with the services charged by the law firms or others.  

The Third Party Admin. work was a really complex and one-sided deal, and most of the money the company got form the TPA work was sent to the Law firm for the legal work, which see the point couple points up and it was the same thing (I know because I was responsible for TPA work as much as I had Company work.

-I think I worked, and those there are working, illegally.  There is a part about adjuster licenses, which I didn’t have or were told to get.  That bothers me a bit, and I have to look into.

I am not accusing the company is an illegal cesspool that should be shut down (but many are if you look at reviews online about them), but they obviously have issues.  I know most of what is in this report is still happening, I almost even went to the TPAs and State Insurance board myself to mention something.  I am glad I am not a part of that organization anymore.  

I’d like someone to tell me if what I wrote is accurate, it seems to me but I’m not formally trained to read legalize and reports like this (or at least rusty at it).

Thoughts on the Upcoming release of Windows 8

I don’t get the idea behind Windows 8.  By that I mean I don’t get why Microsoft is taking such a extreme and desperate move for their operating system.  They’ve admitted that they are a cycle behind everyone when it comes to mobile and desktop, but what they are doing-trying to “unify” the software so the experience is the same mobile and on a desktop-is almost “too fast too soon” feel.  

This is a company that prided themselves in keeping older software working on newer versions of their OS (which is what was the problem with a couple iterations-bloat of emulators and converters in the OS slowed it down.  As a person who uses primarily Apple products, I understand the allure of the “one OS type for the entire line” approach, but how Microsoft is doing it is wrong.

I always thought what they are doing-cutting off older software support in the OS should have been done after Windows XP.  It was a perfect time to do that since Vista had a lot of newer stuff in it (not fully complete or good, but new nonetheless).  I respect Apple in that sense where each new OS update gradually makes older stuff obsolete.  My computer is four years old and I am sure the next Mac OS won’t work on it.  But Windows should have done this years ago to get people onto Vista/7 OS, and especially should have forced enterprise/companies to move from XP.  Yeah, I know the headaches of doing that, IT people, but at the same time staying on XP made people-Microsoft, Developers, IT, etc. lazy and complacent.  There was no extreme innovation during that time, and since no one in the enterprise market was moving, the software developers sat on their asses and didn’t innovate.  Had Microsoft had the balls to stay with the plan and kill XP years ago, better corporate software and experience would be here now, rather than seeing everyone scramble trying to catch up.  this also would have possibly made Microsoft’s gap in enterprise stay big, and Apple not eat at it as it has.

I have played with Windows 8 preview, and I don’t like it.  I have played with 7 a lot and I think it’s an awesome OS.  I’m thinking of building a gaming PC in the future, and I'm just putting 7 on it.  Windows 8 seems “jack of all trades, master of none”, and I think that’s the plan.  It has to serve several masters-Mobile, Tablet PCs, and desktops, which means there are limits for everything.  The “modern/Metro” interface seems like it would work well on a tablet, but as a desktop thing, it looks stupid.  I'm not getting into the hornet’s nest of the hardware differences between the phones, tablets, and desktops, but the OS itself seems...bland.  

I'm sure there’s a level of “THIS ISN’T WHAT I’M USED TO” here, but form what I’ve seen and used, I'm not impressed.  I’d stick with Windows 7 until you HAVE to get Windows 8, there isn’t a ton of difference once you get past the garbage interface.

something to ponder and remember if you already know this.

This is something I realized today when I was looking through some job sites. Once again life and BJJ come together. What I realized is that life, as in BJJ, you have your "team" that helps you train and prepare for a challenge-be it on the mat or in one's life. But after all that prep and work, when it comes down to facing that challenge, it's all on you and you alone to face. I think that is what has drawn me to BJJ, that in the end it's up to me to succeed or fail when I roll with someone. When I do fail, I don't look at it as a bad thing, but something to learn from. Life has that's well, whenever you come up short, you should,earn from it. That's where your "team" comes in to help. That group of people who help and support you as much as you do the same. Think about that.

Changes to site and my health

As I am sure you have noticed, I changed things up a bit on this site.  That’s part of the reason I haven’t written anything new in a bit, I’ve been transitioning from Squarespace old system to their new system.  For the most part, it was painless.  Hopefully the new software will help me make this site better.  If some of the older entries look off, it’s probably due to the transition, and I am not in the mood to go through all the past stuff to fix.  Just work around it.

The one thing I wanted to write about today was about how I am feeling since starting a new diet this week.  I started the Gracie Diet, which is a diet that focuses on how you digest food than how much you eat.  There’s certain foods that shouldn’t be eaten together because it won’t digest right.  I’ve been trying to keep as strict on the diet as I can, and in about a week, I’m starting to feel better.  I am supposed stop snacking, replacing water with a snack, and I have to wait four and a half hours until I can eat again after a meal.  My meals have mostly been a standard meal, but the key is that only one starch can be consumed per meal (like if I have a hamburger when I am out, I can’t have fries, or vice verca).  This diet has me forcing myself to eat more fruits, which I never do.  I don’t have fruits usually because  I’m so used to “fake fruits” like gum or anything fruit flavored that has sugar in it.  Real fruit is an altogether different sweetness my tastebuds need to get used to.  On days I have BJJ I have had an orange, sliced into wedges, before I leave for class, and that is my breakfast until either I have a little coffee (Which I can still have on this diet as long as I don’t use sugar) or something when I out of class.  

I admit this is a tough transition, but it’s one that already has me feeling better.  I'm not sure if it’s a placebo effect, but I really do feel better.  I’m not sluggish or feel like garbage during the day, and I have more energy already.  I'm hoping that some weight comes off due to this change, but just the feeling better part is making me feel this choice to change my diet worth it.

The Newsroom, and why Aaron Sorkin is a hack

I tried so hard to enjoy “The Newsroom”, an HBO series about a cable newsroom written by Aaron Sorkin.  I tried very hard to find enjoyment in it, but there isn’t enough there to make me keep it on my DVR recording list.  I don’t understand how he is considered even an average writer, let alone a good writer.  

After reading about Sorkin and seeing some of his work, I have came to the realization he’s a closeted homosexual or a really insecure heterosexual.  Look at the women in any of his work and how they are portrayed.  Usually in his work there is one total dunce that you wonder how isn’t this dummy knocked up by some creep that took advantage of her stupidity.  Then there’s the “strong, tough chick”-type that is there to “put all the guys in line”, but this woman is the most insecure of all the case.  They are the ones who’s cage gets rattled way too easily, mostly because they her emotions are not in check (another Sorkin trademark: women are psychos who have no controls of their emotions or actions that get the lead character into more trouble than they should be).  

Another major problem is that in his work, apparently all jobs are just places where people meet and spend more time banging than they do working.  Sorkin for some reason likes to emphasize sexual tension and according to him, everyone wants to bang  each other.  He likes to focus this by having a live triangle between one (or both) of the women and two of the male characters, usually polar opposites of each other.  Really simplistic and not outstanding of ideas.  First off, the crap that goes on in his works wouldn’t happen in real life, mostly because the general rule is you DON’T get into relationships on the job, it could jeopardize your own and other people’s careers.

The dialogue used by Sorkin uses is this quick, witty, back and forth, “can you top my last remark”-style that really doesn’t work.  I find it annoying and I get a headache from hearing it.  It’s more like a chick flick style of writing, which isn’t something you’d hear in real life.  If you did hear it in real life, I'm sure you wouldn’t associate with the moron who spoke in that way.

The cast in it is a good mix, but none work with the garbage writing.  Most of the actors are probably people who needed the gig, or drank the Kool-Aid that Sorkin was a competent writer.  I think most people look past Sorkin’s hack writings because all his works are always very left leaning, anti-Republican agenda driven.  Jeff Daniel’s character is supposed to be somewhat conservative (or at least Libertarian), but he is made to sound like an idiot in his views.  Sorkin does make sure you know he has conservative views by making him sound out of touch and old (like he didn’t know he had a blog one of his lackeys updates, he hates bloggers and thinks they are ruining journalism, etc.).  Note  that Sorkin HATES technology, he even said that after he wrote “The Social Network”, and it showed with how he made anyone affiliated with technology look like assholes and the bad guys.  Hence why all the shots at anything related to technology.  

So yeah, I think this show is an abortion.  This is a show that comes off the heels of another abortion that is protected due to the writer allegedly has credibility (“Girls”, the wanna be hipster ‘Sex and the City’, but is as sexy and funny as ovarian cancer).  I don’t know what HBO is doing, but they really have dropped the ball on their original programming (started when they said “Nah, we’ll pass on ‘Mad Men’”...God how good would that show be on HBO).

One last thing: How desperate was Sam Waterson for work that he agreed to play a goofball on “the Newsroom”?  He looks stupid and like a fool losing his mind.  It’s sad to see him reduced to that.

Reaction to Penn State verdict

Wow.

Part of me understands it, part of me thinks that this decision is a lot like the Supreme Court decision in Bush V. Gore, where it was so "Unprecedented" and needed a measure to match it. NCAA really stepped into a grey area with what they did. They bypassed their own due process (which whenever any other school was alleged to violate rules, "due process is needed to be done to ensure fairness and protocol is followed"...whatever the Hell that means) as well as relied on an independent report to determine the punishment. Before I deconstruct why I think there's a lot that stinks about the entire process, I'll summarize what Penn State got:

-Have to pay $60 million in fines that allegedly will go to charities (I"ll believe that when the NCAA opens their books, but as far as I know, that money will go to the 'presidents pockets' charities).

-Can't play in Bowl games or postseason games (The new playoffs starting next season) for four seasons. Big ten added that Penn State can't play in the conference championship game for the same time period.

-Penn State has to reduce the number of scholarship players for next four seasons. So Penn State will have to rely more on walk-ons next few years.

-The school is on probation for five years, and during that time the NCAA will hire a watchdog group to track the school and make sure all conditions of the probation are followed. This part the NCAA was hazy on, and has me concerned.

-Members of the team now can transfer wherever they want without the one year sit out penalty, and if a player chooses to not play at all the school has to honor the scholarship. The real kicker to me is that the NCAA waived all their recruiting/tampering laws so any school can poach Penn State's roster. Mind you, if a coach even looks at another school's player, that's a violation. Now the NCAA has sanctioned what they call illegal the day before. Amazing.

-All wins from 1998-2011 vacated. That was a shot at Paterno and it takes him off the all wins list and puts Bobby Bowden, who's pre-game ritual was to pick up his players from the local jail, at the top of the list. Sorry Eddie Robinson doesn't count to me as far as all-time wins. He got his wins against lower competition in 1-AA. It's apples to oranges, and he isn't the all-time winner if he didn't do it at the pinnacle of the sport.

Now to what I thought was wrong with the ruling. First of all go fuck yourselves if you even think that "You're not thinking of the victims MAAAAN", and give me that fake elitist attitude of "Imagine how those rape victims felt MAAAAN" garbage. PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT THIS RULING MOST LIKELY DO KNOW AND FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. People are allowed to speak about this ruling and should not have you dumb cunts whining about the victims. WE GET IT, WE KNOW IT HAPPENED, AND WE HOPE SANDUSKY GETS HIS IN JAIL IF THERE IS ANY GODDAMN JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD. I especially hate how all these "experts" who come from schools of questionable backgrounds like Miami (Who like USC should BY NCAA LAW have gotten the "death penalty" as repeat offenders), Ohio State, or SMU telling Penn State about "moral ethics".

Now to the hypocrisy of the NCAA. Penn State, who hasn't been under any scrutiny of The NCAA gets damn near killed off for this, and it was a major issue don't' get me wrong, yet schools like Miami, USC, Ohio State-schools who openly and blatantly violate NCAA laws repeatedly, get nothing more than slaps on the wrists. It's disgusting that these schools who are nothing but problems are allowed to go business as usual but others get the goddamn book thrown at them. I know that PSU is the scapegoat in some pathetic crusade by NCAA, which is supposedly going to try to get the "sports first" schools in line and make the sports deify coaches stop, but I don't think the cowards in the NCAA will even go after another school. That's why I think it's like the Bush v. Gore ruling, they can go "this was a one time thing that needed an unprecedented ruling." If the NCAA were men of their words, then I expect to see half the major schools get sanctioned real soon. but we all know how spineless the NCAA is, so nothing will happen.

My other issue is what was used as the basis of the punishment. The NCAA, rather than conduct their own investigation, relied on the Freeh report-a report paid for by the PSU board of trustees. This is the report that said everyone form the coaches to the president of the school was involved (also sounded like throwing them under the bus as well). But the thing is that this report had no subpoena power, so whoever the investigators talked to could have simply been talking out of their asses. Also it relied on emails and correspondences, which unless they specifically state all that the people are looking for, could be open to interpretation. I could write to someone about an interview simply in an email just "I killed it." If someone's looking into me for animal abuse and looked through my emails and saw that, they could say "SEE??? He admits it!!"

Along with this fact, everyone involved that is being accused is not the position to talk fully/try to defend themselves:

-One of them (Joe Paterno) is dead

-Two of the vice presidents, and the president at the time are lawyered up getting ready for a purgury trial, so they wouldn't want anything on record before the trial.

-That idiot assistant coach (Mike McQueary) I am certain cut some deal to damn near get off scott free in all this. He should have reported it to the cops himself or contacted someone right then and there, not go run to his daddy, sleep it off, and say something a couple days later.

Rather than wait for the judicial system take it's course, where they would get more data and facts to consider for a ruing, they rushed to judgment using partial facts. Funny is whenever a student/authority figure from scumbag schools get in trouble, the NCAA says "we have to wait for the judicial system to take its course before we can do anything."

All I am saying is this: as horrible as the crimes were, the people who covered it up and did it should be punished. blanket punishments and sanctions against those who were not a part of the problem is almost as wrong as the crime. What the University is going through now is not fully warranted or right. I look forward to when all the facts are out so the entire puzzle can be put together. Then, and only then can we see who or what deserves the punishment.

Why I haven't been around Newark or Harrison past couple years

It's been a while and it has taken me some time to get some thoughts together enough that I can write something.  The past couple weeks I've been interviewing for work, and as usual, I am just one in God knows how many people are looking (not to mention how many are laying in the weeds not looking but waiting for things to get better).  It has been hard not to feel overwhelmed and negative about the entire station.  Last week I had someone call my resume I have on this site useless since it's not "keyword" friendly.  Yes, I was told that in essence I have to search engine optimize (SEO) my goddamn resume.  Why? because as I have said here before, Human Resource people are useless, and rather looking at resumes to determine the right person for the open position (you know, actually DOING their job), they have their work done by a computer with a few algorithms and scripts written for it.  After that meeting, I was almost in tears and felt an intense feeling in my stomach of frustration about how I feel I am the one that has screwed things up for myself and how I don't have a job now because I can't get the deal done.  I felt like this part of the day, but I also was fighting with myself to get me out of that feeling.  It was an intense conflict.

I have BJJ to help me stay calm, and it's helped as I have mentioned here in the past.  I used to have soccer to do that.  I loved going to games and hanging out beforehand, but over time that enjoyment started to wane.  I used to be a negative jackass because of it and some of the people I hung around.  I started to realize that is not how I should live and find better things to uplift myself.  That's partly when I started to get tired of it (on top of other issues I had with the club).  Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of people I still enjoy talking to and when I see them I enjoy hanging out with them.  It's just some of the other people around that are the negative assholes who are just snarky and take cheap shots for no reason other than to either "live their gimmick" they are trying to live the they are "working class heroes" or just their lives are so pathetic that's the only way they feel "good."  Pretty pathetic if you ask me.  

As much as I'd love to go to more games but I can't get past a lot of the feelings I have about most of the "supporter culture" and many of the people involved (again, there are exceptions).  It's a group of mostly guys (some girls, but usually they are with guys or several who legit like the team) who are either:

1. in a constant pissing contest to show who's the most "hardcore" supporter but how many games they've gone to or how much about the team they know and who on the team they have met.   Usually this is where some of the snarkiness comes from-putting other down because they aren't as "hardcore", or being so "loyal" to "their club" that they will talk shit about anything another team does.  For example, a player is here one year, on another the next, unless the player was great or the "supporters" anoint him as a "legend", that player usually has wishes of AIDS or cancer passed on him, all because he either signed with another team or the team traded him.  

2. The "gimmick" guys who are the "working class", salt of the Earth people, or the European/English wannabes that make Madonna look like a legit Englishwoman.  These fools talk the slang, Cosplay in their "casual" look, and just act like non-Americans because being American "isn't cool"  These are the same people who "support 'til they die" teams that they never even thought of join got see in person.  Hell, half of these idiots probably couldn't find the city of the team they "support SO badly" on a damn map!!!  I've seen guys get into fights over two teams they JUST started to follow.  That's another thing, these people identify with either the really good team, or to fulfill the gimmick, the team with the Hooligan problems because they are so fucking "aggro" like their brothers on the other side of the ocean.  

3.  Attention whores who want the supporters clubs to call them "legends" because ether get so drunk they damn near die (and I get my balls busted and threatened to get kicked out of a club for HELPING someone), pick fights with cops and get unwanted attention on the club, pick fights with players-both on the team and other teams, try to lead a crew to go fight another crew from the other teams supporters, or they try to be the "funny guy".  They just want attention because (as with most people involved) they have boring lives during the week and this is where they can become "weekend warriors" 

Then there's the college kids who don't know a fucking thing (shocking I know) that show up like it's a giant keg party.  These morons get drunk, get out of control, and some points almost cause major issues.  ALso there are the hipsters, but seeing this team has gotten popular over time they haven't come back (Too big for them MAAAAAN).

Most of this garbage I don't associate with or do in short batches.  If you look at my social media accounts, the majority of those people I just mentioned aren't there on my lists or interactions.  When I go to discuss something with a group, I hate when someone says something totally uncalled for or out of left field, just because they want the attentionAgain, there are plenty of people I've met in all my time I've gone to games who are fantastic, family people.  it's just the element around them I still haven't built enough patience or restraint to exist around.  To those good people I know and you know who you are (or I'll probably tell you shortly somehow), I'm sorry for not coming out to games, Hopefully I will soon.  Or maybe we can hang out in a non-game fashion.  

Anyway, when I can figure out how to separate the positive people from the garbage, then I can come back more.  

simple quick new entry

Recent events in the past weeks or so has led me to realize that I really miss my dad and the advice he would give me.  I feel lost sometimes with what is going on, and usually he'd be able to say something to help me make sense of things.  See, I don't care what your relationship is with your parents, good or bad.  s shitty as it can be, they are still your parents.  At the barest of minimums that respect should be given.  Granted there are few situations where one wouldn't blame full hatred for a parent, but in the end this is the person that gave you life.  Also one lesson people need to realize that as much as you know about life and the world, your parents know a Hell of a lot more.  That's something one should tap into to make themselves better.  I've learned that lesson the hard way, and now respect and cherish whatever my mom says.  I did with my father as well, but I wish I had more time to.  I really miss him.

THis is what I've been trying to repeat to myself lately to ensure I do what I am saying:

No longer will I live in a fear state, afraid of doing something.  That's not how life works.  Look at my resume again on this site and see what I am using to send to people when I am looking for a job.  I will not act like I am begging for a job when I apply, I will act as if I am doing them a favor by giving my resume to them.  One has to value themselves to a point where as much as they feel important, they are also humble.  I will no longer think more than I have to,  which can be paralyzing at times.  I will do what I feel is needed at that time.  When you don't react to anothers actions, you lose.  I learned this form Jiu Jitsu.  When one tries a move you must at least try to defend, survive, and counter what is happening.  

this week is two years since I started this site.  I thank you all who read and visited it.  Thank you and I hope that one day I can make this into something more than it is.  I need to find others to help train me and shoq me how this site can enhance my brand

How I prefer to be contacted, and how I prefer to contact you

Many who have dealt with me may have noticed that I limit myself as far as way I am contacted or contact people.  Best case scenario, I like meeting face-to-face with people.  It’s the best way to communicate and each person gets to see each other.  Most of my communications though is usually texts or emails.  I picked this up from a lawyer I used to work wit.  I like this form of communication because one has a record of the conversation, so that if there is an issue or accusations of lies, the proof is “written down” somewhere.  I have been burned by this in the past, but I also was helped in situations as well (one situation saved my job, and the company I was employed by thousands of dollars-all because I kept the email form the other person stating the agreed settlement).

Notice I mentioned phone calls.  I have a thing about talking on the phone.  All my life I never “talked” well on the phone.  I don't know why, maybe the disconnect of voice to a physical person I am communicating with, or I can’t really tell what is said is truthful as far as how that person’s body language is when they said what they said.  I can’t explain it, but most people mention I am two different people from when they talk to me on the phone to when they meet me or read what I write.  Maybe I’m better communication in a “visual” sense than an auditory one.  One caveat about this is when it comes to video chat, either via Apple’s FaceTime or Skype, I'm fine. Even audio only Skype chats I do well with.

As I said, this isn’t a modern thing, but I've always struggled with a phone.  I always hated calling people, it feels like an intrusion.  I rarely pick up my phone, only if it’s an emergency or I’m waiting for a call.  I let it go to voicemail then figure out what to do next.  I use texts or emails because I feel that’s more convenient, and the person can contact me when they can or want to.  I like having a minute to think about what I'm going to respond with, maybe do quick research on the subject we are talking about.  I think texts/IMs/emails make for better informed and honest conversations.  Face-to--face and video chats may seem like a phone call, but seeing the person makes the conversation a whole lot different.  You get to see reactions and body language.  Phone calls you only have one avenue of communication, which can lead to distortion of the value and meaning of what you are talking about.  Most modern forms of communication either give more levels of communication, or a mechanism that tries to at least minimize that distortion.  

I know I'm not the only person who thinks this way or act this way.  If you need to contact me don’t “call” me, but text, email, IM, or Skype/FaceTime me.  

My dream job, HR departments=garbage, Older employed people really don't have a clue

I think it’s time to be honest about the job situation and some of the attitudes of people in this country, particularly in my circle.  I am really at my wits’ end as far as this job search.  It feels like a great pressure on my head.  I had an interview with a temp agency yesterday, and I’ll probably keep in contact with them as much as I can.  I should also hit up some other agencies at some point as well.  

I spent several nights up the entire night going through all the job websites looking for work.  At this point it’s not even looking for anything in particular, but anything I may fit I will apply to.  I'm also trying to get the most out of linkedin.com as well, and if anyone wants to connect on there look me up.  For the most part I think I have my profile done up the way I want it to look.  I'm still debating if I should add the position “Content creator-Petemarus.com” to it.  I also need to get recommendations as well, which to me is weird to ask for.  Just odd that I would ask for it.  I should “man up” and do so.

Ironically I do this because I can’t sleep due to the overwhelming thoughts about myself in the situation I am in, so I figure use the energy to look for work.  I'm not just overwhelmed mentally, but sometimes physically as well.  I almost have panic attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed on occasion, sometimes out of the blue.  It’s not a crippling thing, just something that slows me down during a short time.  After one of the more recent ones, I stopped thinking about the current situation I am in and started getting frustrated and really delving into some honest facts about what is going on and what is making it frustrating.

First of all, I really would like, deep down, to make a living writing.  I want to monetize something that people say I have a knack for.  I wish I got on this sooner, but I was also doing the opposite of what people said I should be doing due to a good part of my live having that happen due to my afflictions.  I really wish I could figure out a way to make a buck off my talents.  

My dream is to at some point not have a job where I have to wear a tie and put a BS front at a job like I had to in the past.  I really don’t like that, and would rather just be me, and get the job done.  I never understood how a shirt and tie, or even a suit, suddenly was required to get the job done (or at least look like it is).  No matter if the job got done, my fashion sense shouldn’t be a factor.  I also never got the whole “Yeah, you got the job done, but how you got it done isn’t right to me, so I have a problem” mentality some places have.  If I get my work done, then you should have NO reason to say word one about it other than “good work” or “thanks”.  

I especially never got why an HR department is needed beyond payroll, benefits, and hiring duties.  At my last job, the manager who ducked me and anyone who wanted to talk to him, used the HR guy as a literal shield between me and him when he decided to put me on probation.  The punk would not talk to me before hand if he had a problem, whereas myself and other went to him or his sidekick/the rat in the department and said exactly what was the problems we had with him.  This BS of “professionalism” and respect for the other worker has to equal keeping your mouth shut about problems or telling a mediator is what really bothers me at most places.  What should really happen is that you go to the person you have an issue with and go “Hey, I have a problem with you, this is the problem, what are we going to do about it.”  From there you either talk out the problem and figure out what to do, or you leave it at “I don’t like you, I don’t like what you are doing.  You stay out of my work as much as you can and I’ll do the same”.  How hard is that?  But, with the pussification of America, we need people like the work place is a damn Kindergarden, telling people what they can’t do (usually there’s never what you can do if you’ve ever noticed) and being a nanny to grown adults.  

HR departments are one real source of my frustrations about my job search.  These people will put up either fake or misleading job postings to get resumes in, just to look like they are doing their job and justifying their positions.  The position usually is legit, but the requirements are usually lower than what they want, so they get more resumes in to look like the position is in demand.  Not only that, but companies like to now have online applications, which sends you to a site where you have to “sign up” before you hand in your resume.  It’s not a special club or anything, but they want you to put all your info in their database so the HR guy doesn't have to interrupt his Facebook time or that Solitaire game and actually do some work.  Its also a way, I think,  to collect data for marketing and unsolicited mailings from people they probably sell your info to.  Remember when you just gave in your resume, and they looked at it?  Now with their online “club” they make you sign up for before sending your qualifications, they don’t have to do anything and the computer chooses the candidates for them.  Why bother looking for something on it that may stand out, the computers know all!!!!

I HATE this setup.  I spent one time a half hour jumping through these hoops with one company, and at the end the system timed out, lost my info and started me over.  Another time, I clicked on the link to a job posting, it brought me to their job portal, and after clicking on the “continue” button on the page, I got internal server error pages.  If anyone out there is reading this and do handle job applications for a company via a online database.  MAKE SURE THE DAMN THING ISN’T BROKEN!!!!  I never applied to those jobs.  I figured if the application process is handled like a joke by these people, then that must me the mentality about everything in that company.  

Now onto the last thing I will rant about: you ignorant morons who have had your jobs for 25+ years who don’t know what’s going on.  You people make me sick, and I have to hold back from causing you harm when you open your mouths about how things are.  You guys probably sold yourselves, and your families, out to keep your job at some point.  Some of you jackasses even said “I am where I am from being the alpha male and taking what I want.”  

Quick rule of thumb: anyone who says how alpha male/female or powerful they are, really aren’t.  They usually are the spineless cockroaches that somehow survive and get lucky with their pathetic and cowardly way of living.  

These dolts are the ones who tell me:

 “Just get a job, it’s not as hard as the everyone says it is out there.  I'm sick of people complaining there aren’t any jobs.”  

Listen idiot, the real unemployment rate (which includes both the announced and those who aren’t in the system-like me) is nearly 20%.  You think all those people on the train near you in their suits are going to work? No, they are probably going to an interview for a position that they applied to but may not even be there.  And seeing that job websites like to rub it in that there are so many people looking for work, they now put how many people applied for a job after you apply.  That surely puts my confidence on a high seeing 250 people applied for the same position.  

WIth so many people applying for the same job, I at one point decided to get creative style-wise with my resume and was encouraged by one person who has been working for decades to do something unique.  Yet as soon as that person, who hasn’t had to look for work since Reagan reviewed it, they said “you should just stick to the standard resume, thats the safest option”.  I honestly got that frustrating feeling where you start to have tears in your eyes and you feel your head turn red and hot.  

At this point I started to just point the finger at these people for being idiots, and any information they try to give (good intentioned or not) is irrelevant and outdated.  It’s further compounded by the fact that some of the people who do try to help me are the type who didn’t even have to go through the hiring process in the first place.  The only application for work they did was “Mommy/Daddy, i need a job.  Call your friend/old army buddy/someone who owes you a favor and tell them I need work”.  What the Hell would they know about getting a job if they didn’t have to earn their spot in the first place, but just have it handed to them.  It’s almost insulting when they try to relate to me in my situation.  

Another word of advice: Don’t try to be at someone’s level when you still got the nosebleed from being above them or the dirt on your shoulders from being beneath them.  

I think I have said my piece.  I should try to make some cash off my writing, and also be flat out honest in any introduction or letter I send to an employer.  I should just rip up my resumes and do them in a style that would stand out.  

To those who are still looking for work like me, keep plugging away, but also try to find creative ways to relieve the stress.  Maybe you’ll find a way to get paid doing so.

Memories of the Poconos

I was in my basement yesterday looking for something, and I came across two things that conjured up some memories.  These memories were of when I frequently visited, and lived in at one point, the Poconos.

My parents had a house up there and I used to go every weekend and stay up there in the summer with my mom (she was off from teaching).  It was a nice, quiet area, and it was cool to be out of the city for a bit.  It helped out with the stress level and it also started my change in attitude.  Living in another environment that is almost totally opposite of what you've lived in for a while changes you, mostly in a good way.  My experience helped me become a little more well-rounded.  

Sometimes I really miss it, but also I remember why I came back to the City, and why my parents didn't pull the trigger and moved us up there.  First being in the woods doesn't do much for one's social life.  I was living up there full time after college, but I couldn't really go out because the closest socializing was miles away down country roads.  It was sometimes intense going up or down the roads sober, I didn't want to even try to do that after a couple drinks.  Another factor is that everything isn't totally accessible as easily as it is in the City.  God forbid if I am sick, it'd take much more time to get help to me (assuming they can even see the road on GPS or maps), and even doctor appointments would take some time to get to and from.  After a year, I moved back to the city because of the isolation up there.

But I'm not going to focus on the negatives. I have two pictures to share of things that I am so happy to still have from the house up there.

This is a sign my parents had made for hanging outside the house.  From what I remember, my parents found this guy in Amish country on a day trip out there and he had a template of this, and my parents bought it and put the words "Marus Manor" on it.  I remember when they got it, the wood was more natural, and the cut-ins were brown.  Almost a decade later, my dad got it redone  into the style it is now.  I still think it's one of the coolest things my parents got for the house.  The 1987 was when my parents bought the property the house was on (the land was just forest land, and wasn't developed yet).  

This was bought at another wood shop in the area.  We found this place when we were driving around the countryside one day.  The guy had an amazing shop.  He was a real craftsman, and had a full machine and wood shop.  He made silhouettes of animals you put on your lawn, silhouettes of people for the lawn, like a one of a cowboy leaning against something-you'd put it by a tree.  The guy also made stuff for inside the house as well like this.   This is a toilet paper holder that is shaped like an outhouse.  inside the outhouse is where you put the extra toilet paper.  The guy also had furniture, baby cribs, and sculptures that were all truly works of art.  The guy charged OK prices from what I recall, but he did charge top dollar for the furnature and artwork.  Whatever he did charge was well worth the investment in the man's skills.  This thing is going into my bathroom, it's just so damn cool!!!

OK, enough reminising, starting to get teary-eyed.  I still have memories of helping my dad with the landscaping, and all the wonderful times I had there with my family, and all the people who came up to visit and enjoy quality time up there.  I regret not going up nearly as much the last few years my parents had the house.  They sold it since it was becoming more of a burden-they only up there for a couple times a week, and the work to upkeep it wasn't making it worth it.  The good thing is that the sale helped them financially and put them in a better place.  SO Things do happen for a reason.

Maybe one day I will return up there, maybe I'll own a place.  That's a nice dream

religion and trying to find PEACE

So I want to say this out front: I believe in God and that there is something much bigger and powerful beyond our control. I believe our purpose in God's eyes is we do good for ourselves and others. I believe that there is only one God, and that he's the same God people praise, regardless of religion your follow. Simple proof of that is if you look at the main stories and lessons that is being told in all faiths, they are all the same, just names and settings are changed to localize the story. I believe religion is a good thing and a positive thing for some people in their lives. It's a solid foundation of values that one can look to to help keep a person grounded. As long as they use it as the base, and not the entire building of their lives, it's a healthy thing.

It doesn't become healthy when the person becomes so wrapped up in religion, they blindly and unquestionably follow anything it is said in the writings and words of the religion. Outside of the "be good to others and do right for yourself and others", the rest of the teachings to me are vague and highly questionable. See, the bibles and whatever books/writings used in religion were written by the lawyers of the time, who love to keep things vague so other scum lawyers can interpret things how they want it. It was also written by insecure, scared people who are afraid of losing the weak minded that follow them, they wrote and said things to scare the masses into conformity. ALL this still happens today in all religions, and it's nothing more than some who falsely do things behind the name of God. That doesn't make them religious people, it makes them scumbags, con artists, and just bad people.

Look, I respect people and what they believe in, do whatever you want, but keep it private and don't push things onto those who don't believe in what you believe. State it rationally, and leave it at that. This is the problem with the country, where people won't SHUT UP about their religious beliefs and acting like its a "my God is better than your aged" pissing contests. IT'S THE SAME GOD, YOU IDIOTS!!!

The reason I am writing this is because my relationship with God has not been the best. I have issues with the church and it's sayings (most of which is nonsense to me), but as I stated I believe in God and I think this belief is important in my life. I can't explain all the good in my life that has happened in the past but I think it's God's will and his plan for me that all the "luck" and "miracles" has happened to me. Recently I've been wondering if my lack of prayer or belief has caused my unemployment or lack of success professionally. I don't know it God heard me, but I happened to see this article written by Deion Sanders about PEACE. I won't go into detail but here's the site address to the story if you want to read it:

http://www.deionsanders21.com/blog/i-just-want-my-peace-eaie/

This article hit me, and I am trying to put what he said into action in my life. As I stated earlier, religion and religious people can be a positive influence in one's life, but I think that it shouldn't be ones entire life if you aren't ready to make the sacrifices one makes to be a nun or priest or anyone who is "answering the call".

I hope, no matter what religion (if any) you believe in, that you have something to believe in that helps your mind find a level of calmness and peace.

The Insanity of this world

I have come to the realization about this world.  It seems when things get bad, that's when people and things just go crazy.  An example is the US.  Since 2008, the entire government has been doing either irrational, short-sighted actions that make no sense (when there isn't a specific reason for what they are doing, it's usually a bullshit reason that sometimes they don't know why other than profiting form it), or there's nothing done due to the divide there is in the government.  When times weren't so bad, although Republicans and Democrats didn't see eye-to-eye, they at least had the sense to work things out and get something constructive done.  Now you have crazy people on both sides that somehow took leadership and are now slowly letting this country go off a cliff.  it's not like some major difference why they won't work together, it's because ego and immaturity that has led to one side shooting down the other's ideas, just because.  What's the warped thing is that at some point the liberals believed some of what the conservatives in, and the other way around and now there is a constant pissing contest just to cancel out what each side is doing.  It's insane and mind blowing what is going on.  

Europe is another example.  When the EU was set up (more like pushed on everyone, I'll get to that later) it was to unify the economic power of the continent.  The money would be under one flag and commerce would move freely in the Eurozone.  Sounds good in theory, but so does Communism and look what happened to that.  So the united currency was made, but it was made with the devalued currencies that weren't worth much. WHat propped it up was the German and French currencies (UK was wise and stayed out of that mess-their money's worth more), and now the Euro's barely worth being used as toilet paper.  The PIIGS, Portugal, Ireland, Italy, Spain, and Greece-who didn't' want to be a part of this but was goon-handed into signing the Treaty of Lisbon-now are a step away from being third-world nations because of the EU.  The best way I can describe what happened to them is read "Confessions of an economic Hitman", and replace Ecuador with one of the before named countries and the US with Germany and France (the IMF is still the IMF), and there you go.  

Think about it:  Germany runs Europe and are now dictating policy.  HOW NUTS IS THAT??? I haven't been in school for a bit but I seem to remember some little spat the US jumped in to stop the Germans from taking over.  Well, that and to help the British from having their entire nation be turned into a rest stop/gas station for the Luftwaffe and German Navy.  The French rolled over and let Germany take over the EU (like they haven't done that before with the Germans).

Shockingly, countries like Greece, France and Italy aren't happy about Germany pushing them around.  So instead of having a centralist government trying to rationally steer themselves out of the minefield the IMF and EU put them in, all three had elections recently, and the people decided they wanted a government full of fascists, socialists, and even communists.  The people are so freaked out, they don't know what they want so they threw everyone in there and now that just gave the IMF and EU even more leverage to rip those nations apart.  the UK is slowly getting to this point as well.  Thank God for the UKIP party, led by Nigel Farage, who want the UK out of the EU (even the end to the EU) and to stop having UK put up the cash to pay for this horrific economic massacres happening in the PIIGS nations.  Here's a video of Farage speaking recently on the matters.  

What am I getting at?  It's simple-the more broke you get, the more extreme your views get.  When you have money, you seem to be more rational in your thoughts and beliefs.  When you are broke, your mind starts to wander, almost into survival mode trying to earn a buck and/or blame other people and groups why you cant get work or paid well.   Mike Tyson said it best: You can have your game plan all set, but when that all goes to the side when the first punch is landed and you're just trying to survive.  Thats where we are now, trying to survive.  Sadly, the crazy people are running things.  

I'm sure the media has something to do with it, but they are just the bitch of the corporations, so I can't say they have any real say.  They are told which pretty crazy person is to be put on air that the people will like to hear

Purpose

I was thinking today about The Diaz Brothers.  They are Nick and Nate Diaz, two MMA fighters who are showing lately that they are one of the best in their divisions, and the sport overall.  Nate Diaz faught last Saturday and won.  I was trying to figure out if I like them or not.  I respect the Hell out of their skills, especially their BJJ games, but their personalities are pretty polarizing

Both come from a broken home, and found fighting as a way to earn money and keep themselves out of becoming criminals.  They have the focus as fighters where they come off assholes, but after seeing a special on them, I get why they do.  Both of them have the mindset that once a fight is made, they hate that other person.  By hate, I mean they are focused on beating them, to the point where they get angry at the person, regrdless if they have any hatred for them otherwise or not.  Their attiude is "why should I be nice and cool with them leading up to the fight, if I am supposed to battle them?"

I sort of get what they are thinking to a point.  They need a purpose to train harder to beat someone.  That sometimes comes off as them being assholes.  What I don't get is that these two guys already use training and teaching BJJ as a purpose to better themselves and keep themselves out of trouble.  They are already tuned to battle, why do they need the extra motivation?  I read a lot about how when they aren't in "fight mode", they aren't that bad of guys to be around (I'd certainly would love to train with them once to learn from them).

If their purpose is to be who they are to get away from whatever is in their past, I can understand that.  Most artists, martial artists, comedians, musicians, etc. do what they do for a purpose.  Some to express the pain they feel or expel those feelings, some as an alternaive to another negative vice they are staying out of the grip of, but they all do it for a purpose.  Many top entertainers aren't the best off people emotionally or are form a good situation, so they need what they are good at as a purpose to live.  I respoect that when it comes to the Diaz brothers, I just wish sometimes they shouldn't "live the gimmick" too much and show how martial arts has helped them in a positive way.

I've been wondering about myself lately and what is the purpose of my life.  I have things I know I have to do, but I don't see them as a purpose to live.  Don't take this as I'm suicidsl, far from it-I got a ton to live for.  I have wondered why God put me on this planet in the big picture.  What really got me thinking about this was from "The Matrix Reloaded" scene between Neo and Agent Smith when they first speak in the movie (right before the big fight scene), and what the Agent Smiths said I think puts in the right light what is purpose:

"It is purpose that created us. 
Purpose that connects us. 
Purpose that pulls us. 
That guides us. 
That drives us. 
It is purpose that defines us. 
Purpose that binds us." 

Purpose to me is what we are supposed to do and what is supposed ot happen to us.  My Dad used to say he asked God why I was born with cataracts, and why wasn't he the one had the affliction. I've always looked at my situation as it giving me purpose to work harder to prove i'm just as good as poeple who could see, and gave my parents a purpose to ensure that my sister and I were raised up right.  I know that there was a purpose for my ankle being busted like it was, which oddly helped me appreciate soccer even more and led to many in my social circle now (from going to Metrostars/RBNY games and being a member of the ESC) and helped me find and go to Penn State,  and I know the purpose of going to BJJ is to better myself physically and mentally.  I just don't know what my purpose in the larger picture is.  

Or I'm just not supposed to know that, just live and it will happen

Or, I'm thinking way too much.

Who knows 

Entry to Kill time and get myself focusing on something other than brick wall I'm hitting

I'm posting some random stuff here to tjink about other things and get out some stuff I've had in my head:

-Audiophiles and Videophiles are nice words to call someone a scam artist.  These are the guys who claim to have such a finely tuned eyes or ears that they can see/hear somthing the average person can't.  I agree with the audiophiles to a point in that analog recordings sound better than digital recordings, but beyond that these guys are just a bunch of bullshit artists.  Some even hustle themselves into buisness installing audio equipment.  It's amazing how they and the videophiles work.  they sit thare and say they hear or some some detail you don't see, then charge an arm and a leg to "optimize" or "fix" it.  Then they don't do anything, and nothing changes but they say the do, convince the sucker they are charging it's fixed and get paid.

Look, I know these guys are all liars.  I"ve worked with many people who were in the radio/music or TV industry.  Fact is those who worked in audio professions are deab and thair hearing is shot, and those who worked in video production are blind as bats.  

-Best video explaination of what I feel about "supporters" of teams that wrap their lives around one team.  They feel "gutted" when the team loses and lets that minor thing affect their entire lives.  They also use all the cute lingo and get in their heads the team is theirs, and it's their family.  This clip says it best.  If a team I like to watch loses, oh well, I got other things to do so a pro team losing doesn't mean much to me.

-Never understimate the effect of a short walk.  Wither outside or inside.  Even to get away from your desk at work.  The past week I've stayed in my house to look for jobs online, and didn't go for my usual walks, and I felt terrible, physically and mentally.  A good walk can re-energize your body and head.  Go to a short walk, or if you are stuck at an office job, go outside for a few to get out of that enviroment.  Really simple thing, that helps.

Last Wednesday

I'm just putting up some quick thoughts about last week, particularly about last Wednesday.  I was given the opportunity to roll and train with some BJJ black belts in NJ, along with many other BJJ practitioners of various belt levels.  I went in there wondering how my skills would match up with different people.  I was surpised how well I actually did.  I didn't do well enough where I was beating everone I faced, but well enough to see that I am not as average as I thought I was.

I've been training with the same people since I started BJJ, and its hard to gauge how well I am doing because of that.  Everyone I train with gets better as much as I get better, so it always seems to feel the same as far as my skills go.  Wednesday night, working with totally different other people showed me that not only can I hang with many people, but I actually can do well.  THis, along with seeing the NY Open tournament has me wanting to compte, but my funds situation is telling me otherwise.  I'd love to compete and see how I would do, even though I would be on the lighter end of my division my division.  One day I will compete.  Like Wednesday night, I may get whipped doing it, but it would be a valuable experience.  

one year anniversary

It's been about a year since I walked out of my job. I don't regret it, the job was a dead-end, there was no money in it if I stayed, and it would have lead to health and personal issues had I stayed. Interesting fact about the situation is that I have not heard from anyone at that company. That alone makes me feel better I left since its obvious to me now I worked with a bunch of ingrates.

This is also marking a year of being out of work. This is something that weighs heavily on me, and I try not to talk about with people outside of a couple people. I don't talk about it a lot for a couple reasons. First off, I don't want to burden people with negative stuff, or at least more than a couple sentences. I know enough people who do this already, and they would do so more if I spoke to them more often. Sorry, I don't need to hear about your problems over and over again, especially when the problem is the SAME THING you've bitched about for years. Shit or get off the pot, otherwise the people your bitching and moaning to will leave the bathroom. That's not the best analogy, but I think you get my point.

The other reason I don't go into detail with many others is a reason that is not without it's irony. Talking about my problems would be a selfish act , making the situation about me when the situation most likely isn't, but some would say it is selfish of me to keep what is wrong to myself. I don't like to burden people with what I should be able to handle myself. But as I've said here, there are times when I should involve others despite my hesitance to. It's a conflicting, paralyzing situation, that leads to a lot of anxiety and frustration.

In fact those feelings are starting to be around me more often than it should. Today, I was in an emotional funk, and I let my mind wander to thinking of some long term situations, which considering my situation now weren't the best scenarios. Its things like that which makes me get nervous about planning stuff for the future, because I don't know where I will be at that point. It's a frustrating thing for myself, and others around me that I have to constantly apologize for my current situation. But no matter what I feel or where my mind is, I always remind myself that I put myself here with the choices I have made. I chose to quit my job. I chose to sit on my ass hoping that non profit would accept me into their program, rather than going and getting my certifications a lot sooner than I did. I choose to do what I do. Do I think I could have done better in my decision making, yeah, but what's done is done and I have to focus on now.

One thing I will never regret is leaving that joke of an insurance company. That I feel proud of myself for doing.

Ozzie Guillen and the Cuban American Community

Ozzie Guillen,the manager of the Miami Marlins baseball team, was suspended by his team over comments he made about the Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. What he said ignited the Cuban American community, and it lead to a five game suspension. It sucks it had to get to that, I think he just had to apologize and end it at that. But since the team is pandering to the locals trying to get some support behind the team, they caved to people who's feelings are hurt. It's pathetic. Guillen, who is Venezuelan and know about living under a dictator, said what he said was misinterpreted in that what he wanted to say came out wrong in English but he thought of it in his mind in Spanish-his primary language. I can see that happening. I know many people who don't speak English as their first language, and sometimes they don't get their message clearly out with their English. I still think the Cuban Americans in Miami really are over sensitive babies and hypocrites to be honest.

Sorry, I have no sympathy for the Cuban Community. The older members in Miami always talk about the horrors that Castro's regime did, and I am not saying they didn't, but one has to remember that these people were either part of the well-off families that profited under the dictator Batista, who last I read wasn't much better than Castro. These refugees got the short end of the stick after Castro ousted Batista and the mob. Where were these people's outrage for their homeland when they were making money off the suffering of the people they are exploiting now? It just bugs me they bitch and moan about Castro, but have not gone back to take back their country. Apparently the money they have been, and are making off of the Cubans coming onto shore in Miami has lessened the desire to reclaim their homeland.

The younger generation Cuban American amuse me as much as make me sad. They are a lot like the Irish Americans in this country. They hear of what their family members went through decades ago and feel a false sense of rage like THEY were oppressed. Then they try to live the gimmick of being a part of the cause. Not only do they look foolish and ignorant of what the hell they are talking about, they probably embarrass their families by making their experiences look like a joke. Rather than being real Americans, they try to live the gimmick of their "countrymen", who they most likely never met any real people from their "homeland". Actually come to think about it, most soccer fans are like this as well but not as extreme.

Baseball season, and why it sucks in Queens thanks to the Wilpons

So the baseball season starts this week, and I admit that I still like the game. I can watch a game from time to time, but I still have problems with the speed of the game. If they got the game moving a little faster, it'd be more enjoyable. I also have a problem with how the players have become wussies, and how most are now pretty boys and athletes, not real baseball players. I remember the NL east teams of the 80s 90s, where players were dirty and gritty. They also weren't bodybuilders, but just guys who went out and played the game. I miss those days.

I followed the Mets all my life, mostly because of proximity to them. Over the past 15 years, though my support of them has faded. It's to the point where I am tired of the ownership of the team and I can't in good conscience spend any money on their team. The Wilpons are pathetic. They are fanboys of the Dodgers and Giants-teams they build the Mets to honor, yet both teams are still around. Citi Field has more memorials and history facts about the Dodgers than it does of the team that plays there. The seat color is apparently in honor of the old Polo Ground where the Giants played. It's insulting and embarrassing. Even the colors of the team are there to ride the coat tails of two teams that left the city but are still around. I know that's not the Wilpons' fault, but it should have been an omen about the overall loser mentality this team always had.

I hate any team with a loser mentality, that "aww shucks, we are the lovable losers" crap. The Wilpons embrace that and even markets the team like that. What really set me off about this was when the Wilpons made the team wear Underdog t-shirts. What crap is that??? NO ONE should ever act like they can't do something or succeed. If the other team is supposedly better than you, that should make your team inspired to beat them. But the Mets built their organization on people who cower from success or getting in the face of anyone better to beat them. I honestly think its because the Wilpons have such reverence and fanboy attitude to the Giants a d Dodgers (who are their competitors in baseball and still around), they not only don't want their team to be as good or better than them. Hence the Wilpons will make their own team second rate. Again, look at the Mets' "home" stadium, which puts the Mets history on the burner to praise and throw in the face of Met fans histories of other competitors.

I hope whenever the Wilpons get tossed from owning the team, the new owner blows the team up. I hope the new owners will gut the team, change the colors, and tears out all that garbage about the Dodgers and Giants on the stadium. Make it the Mets home stadium, get original colors and logo to move away from the past, and get people with chips on their shoulders who want to fight to win, no matter who they play.

Prediction: Mets barely win 65 games this season, and the Wilpons won't care. They only care gouging whatever suckers come to games so they can pay off the debts the courts just levied on them after taking Madoff's cash then pissing it away on nonsense.