Health Care

Usually, I'm against the government being involved with my life more than it should.  I usually don't want them telling me what to do or how I should live, especially when it involves the BS reason "it's for your own good".  If I choose to live how I choose to live, then I should live with the results.  I don't want a nanny-state like it is in the UK or parts of Europe.

That said

The only thing I agree the government should be involved with, outside of keeping the nation safe and clean, is with health care.  I want a single-payer system, and I'd gladly pay for it.  It'd probably inspire me to go to the doctor more often.  I hate the idea of begging an employer to give me something I feel should be a right to all people.  Private insurance companies are scum, and it would be a great scene if the US Government stormed into their offices and took them over.  Paying more in taxes to ensure I can go to a doctor without having to choose that or food (like many-especially elderly people-have to do), that would be an expense well paid.

The governemnt propsed "Obamacare", which is a half-assed attempt at a single payer system.  Every American will be strong-armed into buying private insurance or be severely penalized in the form of a "tax".  The bill is so huge and vague, there aren't measures to watch the insurance companies when it comes to how much they can charge (there is some vague crap about where a fraction of their profits are to go, but it's almost irrelevant).  Nancy Pelosi said "we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it".  This was the head of part of one third of government saying this.  NO ONE READ THE BILL BEFORE PASSING IT.  THey did the bidding of thte private insurance companies, since Obama and all the politicians are the financial bitches to them, and now the insurance companies are about to hit the jackpot, assuming the Supreme Court does not do the right thing and rules the bill unconsitutional.

Again, I'm unemployed but I do pay taxes.  I should have healthcare.  When I do have a job, healthcare benefits shouldn't be held like a carrot dangled in front of me, or anyone in this nation.

Either we all get insurance via a single payer system, or just go free market like it has been.  the Obma plan is half-assed and more problems than solutions.

Just a couple quick notes and updates:

-The book idea is slowly moving along.  Staerting to figure out an outine and how it will be set up.  Wn't be a huge book, maybe a short book like Amazon sells now

-I really need to post more here, so rather than posting once in a while with larger posts, I may do a lot of smaller ones, utilizing the mobile apps on my phone.  So if you find out I post via when I send out a "bat signal" on Twitter or Facebook, you may miss some postings since I probably won't do that anymore (more I'm lazy, and don't want to switch apps so much on my phone).

Keeping busy

I’ve tried to keep my head from caving in from unemployment and this job search.  I”ve been trying to fill my time with stuff that is productive and thought-provoking.  I need more to do.  I have BJJ twice a day on Tuesday and Thursdays, and that helps a lot with my stress level (and my health).  Never underestimate a quick workout early in the morning to start your day.  I also do a lot of walking around just to keep moving and try to get my mind cleared.  Of course I do this all after I spend several hours looking at job postings and looking for companies’ contact information to send my resume to.

I decided to attempt something big.  I decided to be an author.  I am thinking of writing a book and self publishing it on Amazon and whatever digital publication system I can.  The book will be about how I think one should handle themselves when it comes to different aspects of life.  I know what some are thinking: “What would you know, and who would read it?”  Well, I think I can do something good, and at the very least I think I can say after it is done, I am an author.  Sure it’s sort of an ego thing, but at the same time I think it will be a cool experience.

Ever wonder why I train and learn Brazilian Jiu Jitsu?

Watch this video and see.  I want to be able to defend myself and those I care about, and not hurt the person but if need be I could without throwing a punch like this guy:

Job search update

For those who are saying that the job market is getting better and more people are working, I need real proof of that.  I’ve spent God knows how long trying to get work, but there’s either no one listening or reading my applications, or I may be getting lost in the shuffle.  I still don’t believe that the unemployment rate is 9% give or take.  I am one who believes it’s probably more like 15-18% if you factor in people like me-not on the government dole and on our own.  

The more I am not working, the more pressure I feel on me.  Everyday I feel more and more like I have let a lot of people down that have been close to me.  Even though many have given me a lot of support and have had damn near infinite patience with me, I still feel like i have let them down.  Don’t get me wrong, I do not feel regret leaving my old job last year.  My conscience is clear and I don’t feel trapped in a job where no matter what I do it’s not enough or my work is ignored.  Since I’ve left that company, I feel better as a person.  

The pressure I refer to and the feeling of failure is honestly put on me by me.  I’ll admit to that.  I have done that to myself since I was a little kid.  Mostly because of my problems as a kid.  I didn’t want t rely on those excused why I couldn’t do something like it was a crutch.  If anything I worked harder to try to be “normal”, despite the roadblocks people would put up even though they said it’s “for my safety”.  This was just as frustrating as well-being told you can’t do something because of “it’s safer for you not to do it”.  That situation embarrassed me then and it does now when I can’t do something myself and need someone else to do it for me.  Yeah, I don’t like to ask others for help.  THis is why for me to get what I want or need like a job, it takes a while.  My mind tells me to do things myself, and not get others involved because what if I do fail?  I don’t want to drag others down with me.  Yeah it’s a stupid and frustrating thing to be around, ask my girlfriend.  These days I have tried to break out of that pattern, but it still feels weird to me asking for help.  

So, you are asking, what the Hell is this all about?  After all the usual ways to apply for work, I am going to try things outside the box.  For example, I redid my resume in a different format (check the link to it on top), and I am in the process of making a presentation of my resume plus more about myself in a form of a little quicktime movie made in Apple Keynote (which I will post at some point when I feel it’s right).  It’s an extension of my resume that I may send a link to along with my resume to try to stand out from the others.  I also have to be more aggressive with my job hunt, and contact companies out of the blue and give them my info, rather than just searching on an online job site.  I need and will try to take control of my job search, rather than be controlled/constrained by it.

And yes, I will ask others to help.  The best way to get through something you don’t like is to just do it.  

BJJ

This entry is about Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, so if you don't want to read about what I have to say, then stop reading now or don't complain after, I told you up front.

So as you may know from reading my entries, I have been training for about a while now.  I started training in it to get a work out and learn something.  I have done both, but now the martial art has become more and more of something I need in my life.  Not just for the physical action and health benefits I've received (lost about 25 pounds, I'm more flexible, and I feel better), but the mental challenge it has given me as well.  

To show how dedicated I am, i have decided to try to get two sessions of training in twice a week.  One class is at 7am and the second is the usual 6 pm class on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I've started that this week, and although I feel tired and sore, I feel in the long run it will help me.  I set a goal for myself this year to improve a lot, so I need to focus and work at my skills to prove myself worthy of it.  After every class, I find myself thinking and analyzing what I did wrong and what I need to do to fix it.  Tuesday was one of the rare times where I saw myself as improved.  I was performing techniques and movements a lot better.  Today I went to training, and did OK, but since then I've been trying got figure out what I have to do to break some habits I am still stuck with.  I believe I have figured something out, and I am hoping to try the ideas out when I go to class tonight (depending on how my body feels-I won't go if my body "tells" me not to go).

There is another aspect as to why I have "fallen down the rabbit hole" of BJJ: The people I train with and Jucao, the master who trains us.  I've said what I feel about Jucao before, but i want to say again.  His kindness and passion for the sport is inspiring.  His patience and ability to teach is amazing, and every time I go into class, I feel compelled not to let him down.  I honestly feel I do if I don't have a good training session.  The people I train with are equally inspiring and amazing.  They are good people who have helped me immensely with everything about the sport.  The positivity and non-"meathead" mentality was what sold me on the school and is something that I'm trying to emulate as well outside of the school.  I've had few things that made me want to go and do something, and the people and Jucao make me get up, even when I am tired or sore, and go to train.  Granted, I should go to train on Saturdays as well, but I also need to balance out my life with other interests like my girlfriend, my friends, and maybe soccer again.

That's the brain dump today, I have other subjects to talk about but that may be done tomorrow or next time I write an entry.

Two weeks of pent-up rants, and Apple Store and support=awesome

It’s been a while since I updated this page.  I’ve been busy.  Had to help my mom out with some car issues, an my computer hard drive was dying. So I have a lot to say in this entry.

Let me start with my experience with Apple to get my iMac repaired.  It started last week, when my computer froze up and would not work.  I ran as many diagnostic tests I could, and determined it was something with the hard drive. I took the computer to an Apple store to have it checked out by one of their Geniuses.  My mom came along, and her first experience at an Apple store was...unique.  I got my computer checked out and it was determined the hard drive needed to be replaced (all this was within 20 minutes).  So I left the computer there and left.  My mom kept referring the the people who worked there as the “Stepford Geeks”.  She thought it was creepy how happy and positive the employees were and how quickly and eagerly they wanted to assist someone.  I thought it was fine and had no problem with it.  Fast forward a few days and I'm back at the Apple store to pick up the iMac.  Again, it was a quick, easy process.  This was the first time I used their repair service and I came away satisfied and pleased with the job they did.  

I honestly could have done the replacement myself, and after seeing how-tos and videos, I kick myself for not trying.  I'm trained to work on computers, and it sort of made me feel less than a man to not be able to do it myself and ask someone else to do it (even the genius I talked to said it wasn’t a hard task).  I’ve decided to try to do more repairs on my own with computers and electronics.  There’s more than enough info out there on how to do a lot of these things, so why shouldn’t I try.  Also after the positive feeling I had at the Apple Store, I’m tempted to apply to work at one.  I love their products, I use them almost exclusively, and I felt “right” there when I was in the store.  I have an interview this week with a security guard company, but I may apply to Apple anyway and see what happens.  

Another tech related thought I had is that the “next-gen” gaming console I get is the gaming PC I build for myself, and not a Microsoft or Sony console (though the idea of selling the PS3 I have towards a Vita has crossed my mind).  I figure I can build a more powerful system than anything the major companies will offer, and I can upgrade and modify a PC to work better than any console.  I can get 90% of the games that are/will be on consoles, and they will run better on a PC than any console.  Something I hope others think about doing.  Now people can connect their PCs to their HDTVs and get an incredible visual and audio experience in the living room, not just at the desk.  That’s what I plan on doing.  The OC I build won’t be used for anything else but gaming, thought maybe some web surfing from time to time.  

Political thought: fuck Rick Santorum and his sanctimonious garbage he spews out to the public.  I will not vote for any candidate that will not respect the simple notion that the Church and State should be separated.  I want someone that will take any reference to God or religion out of all State related matters (off the money, out of the national anthem, out of public schools and buildings, etc.)  Santorum wants this country to be under the Catholic equivalent of the Sharia Law the Muslims use in some of their nations.  It’s disgusting how he is out on the campaign trail saying how religious freedom is threatened, and if we don’t do anything about it, religion will be abolished in this land.  What horseshit.  Believe what you want, be proud of your religion, but DO NOT mix it with running this country.  Keep it to yourself, and if the will of the people want something, like abortions without being shamed while having one, or GOD FORBID birth-control pills that may be prescribed to help a woman’s health and not because she’s a whore as many religious jackoffs say, then live with it.  You have the freedom to not participate in anything.  According to Santorum, if he isn’t elected and his message of “conservatism” *COUGH* Religious Fascism *COUGH* COUGH* isn’t put into place, the country will be full of whores on the pill having sex all the time, while the gays have sex with themselves and animals, and the streets will be full of abortion clinics with dead fetuses all over the sidewalk.  

Santorum is the worst kind of politician. He preys on the type of voter that he believes what Jessie Ventura said are the ones who use religion as a “crutch for the weak and feeble minded”.  These are the ignorant, weak, and desperate who are addicted to religion and use it as the one thing they hold on to in this world, because they lack the confidence and intelligence to stand on their own two feet and see the world through their real eyes.  That’s what really disgusts me about him.  And again, he was ran out of his senate seat by the voters.  Why would I vote for a loser who pissed off his own people at a lower level job into the highest level job?  Thats like taking the middle management guy who stole from his employees then was fired for it, and making him CEO.  It make no sense at all 

Finally, I could write a ton on this subject, but fuck Jeremy Lin, the flash in the pan basketball player on the Knicks.  He’s only getting so much hype because the NBA has a huge hard-on to take over the Chinese market, and they think they found their “in” not that Yao Ming retired.  I’m sick of his story pushed into every news broadcast, and I’m really sick of anyone criticizing him is branded a racist, even if they didn’t mean to.  For example, Max Bretos is an ESPN anchor for Sportscenter.  Now, I know he’s a horses ass from his years on Fox Soccer Channel, but he’s actually an OK anchor.  He was speaking to an NBA analyst about the Knicks and he asked the guy “If there is any chick in the armor of the Knicks, what could it be.”  The NBA analyst didn’t freak out, and answered the question with no hesitation.  No one at the time said anything, because it was a question with a saying that means what weakness is there with the team.  BUT someone started screaming racism because Jeremy Lin is Asian, and the work “chink” was used.  THEREFORE ITS SOOOOOO OBVIOUS THAT MAX BRETOS IS RACIST.  So for a question that had no racial overtones, Max Bretos is SUSPENDED for a month from his job.  It’s one thing if he said the question as “if there’s any CHINK...(wink wink nudge nudge) in the armor...” that could be considered racist, but how he said it AND how the editor on the website put “Chink in the Armor” after the Knicks lost, there were no racial meaning to them.  it’s always said “words matter”, and they do, but also look at the context of what is said.  NOT EVERYTHING IS RACIAL YOU BLEEDING HEART LIBERAL PUSSIES!!! STOP INCITING PROBLEMS BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOME BULLSHIT HIGH MORAL GROUND.  THAT STICK UP YOUR ASS DOESN’T MEAN YOUR ABOVE ANYONE, DUMMIES!!!!

Election 2012, I truly hope this is the end times at this point....

2012 has really been becoming a sad year, especially in politics and this "democracy" or "republic" we live in.  As a voter who is registered independent though tends to lean to more Libertarian views (let's just say nanny-state shills like Chuck Schumer and I wouldn't get along), I see only one candidate who remotely speaks to me and my beliefs.  That  candidate would be Ron Paul.  But naturally, the only candidate that is practical and truly represents what the Republican Party was founded on as far as their beliefs is the one labeled the "crazy" one.  The medial already has anointed Mitt Romney as the Republican Candidate, though they are Keeping Newton Gingerich around for an added bonus so both shoot down any chance a Republican would DARE challenge the regime of King…err President Obama.  

You know, they guy who is putting all his money on the fact he "got" all these evil terrorist leaders.  The one who attacked Libya and further occupied Afghanistan by executive order-unconstitutional by the way since only Congress can authorize use of force.  He now hides his abuse of the executive order power he has under the gimmick "WE CAN'T WAIT", because all of Congress is acting like a bunch of spoiled brats that only think if short-term, election friendly, steps.  Rather than think in 10-20 year visions, they usually think in only two to four year plans, thats if their masters in the lobbyists allow them to think for themselves.  This is also the same guy who is taking credit for helping General Motors and Chrysler save themselves, but in reality all they did was steal Ford's business model-consolidate the are offerings and invest in the to make the building and R&D run smoother.  They did that sine they saw Ford was taking no money from the Government.  Then again he's also the one who talks out of both sides of his mouth on any issue-he'll praise Apple in one sentence saying they are proof of the innovative spirit there is in this nation and making so much money, but then condemn them for how they keep costs down.  

Want proof about how well he has "Changed" this nation?  the last three State of the Union speeches he's done are ALMOST IDENTICAL.  So when he got in to now, he's done almost nothing positive.

I'm not here to keep trashing on King Obama and his "Hope and Change" nonsense,  I have zero desire to vote for him.  I need to see the other candidates and see where my vote is going.  I said I like Ron Paul, and will probably will vote for him.  I'll tell you why I won't vote for the other clowns

!. Mitt Romney-This guy would probably be a good leader, and could help financially get this nation into some sort of better shape.  Problem is that he has to speak, which lately hasn't helped him.  HIs past few remarks have made him look like some comical rich guy in a bad sitcom.  It's obvious that he has some sort of skill in business, but when it comes to talking to people, and trying to get his point across in verbal form, I'm surprised he made any money in business.  If I were being pitched to invest in his firm and he spoke, I'd probably think "This guy's an idiot, I wouldn't give this guy the time, let alone my money."

2. Rick Santorum-Another guy who doesn't help his cause by opening his mouth.  All I have seen and heard of him is his beliefs and values.  I don't care about them, shut up about them.  What is he going to do to fix things?  I haven't heard anything about that, other than his values will guide him to save this country.  I know I shouldn't take shots at a fellow PSU alum, but as much as he is socially conservative, he's a psycho when it comes to foreign policy.  He wants to turn any nation that gives us any dirty look into a parking lot.  I didn't like how he in Congress would try to curry favor by being out front on a lot of the reform issues-ones that had little chance to win-but at the same time would play all angles to cover his ass.  Another reason I don't trust him is one rule I have that I have for any political candidate: if you get your ass handed to you and thrown out of congress by the people on one level of politics, what thinks I should like you and put you in at the next or higher level?

3. Newton Gingerich-Personal scandals don't mean anything to me (let a playa play, but if he gets caught that's his problem).  I don't like him because he sounds like a dick.  He really comes off as an old, bitter asshole who has a chip on his shoulder.  He's also one who hides under that blanket of "conservatism, values", but what he does under it ethically is anything but.  He's sold out to the banks and mortgage scumbags and helped with the current situation we are in.  He really doesn't want to do anything positive to help the majority of the people.  He's been most vocal about expanding our military to go fight anyone who his private company buddies need the US to do so they can make a profit.  Like Santorum, he got thrown out and ran out of office, and those in his "revolution to reclaim the Republican party" don't like Newton.  Many of them didn't like him when he was in charge.  Should say something that NO ONE from his time in Congress has endorsed him.  

These are why I am not going for any of these clowns.  I will say why I am voting for Ron Paul:

1. He believes in the laws of the Constitution, which wouldn't allow a lot of what has gone on in Government.  

2.  He believes that states should handle a lot more of their own decision making, rather than have the federal government do it for them.  He believes that its a waste of time to have federal laws covering everyone, when it shouldn't cover some states at all, which drags everyone down

3.  Fiscal control-cut a lot of the programs states should be able to run/afford, and focus money we have on what's important

4. The Fed, he wants it gone because it's a shadowy entry that somehow got control of the US currency, backed said currency with nothing real (just confidence it's worth what the paper said), but when times are tough, they just print more and inflate prices.  He wants a full audit of them and hold them responsible for any and all issues from the audit.

5. Foreign aid-cut most of it if not all.  Why are we giving money out to all these poor nations, but that money only goes to line the pockets of a few in each nation?  He wants all the wars to end and a lot of the bases in the world to be shut.  He believes that those troops in Europe and Asia could be utilized much better here, or make the military smaller to handle our needs.  We shouldn't be the world's cops, and these countries should handle their own defense. 

Sadly I know that Paul will be, and is already, censored and tried to be ran out of the race by the media.  It's obvious that they are scared he can beat Obama, and any of the other jokers in the race.  

Job Hunt Update, Giants!!!!!

GIANTS!!!! G-MEN!!! WOOHOO!!! Yeah, I'm happy with the Giants making the Super Bowl.  Now, as I said on Google+, Fredo Manning gets to go to his brother's house and show that he's SMAAAART!!! only hope is that there's not a fishing trip after the game.  So, Indy and the Pats, remember this little fact 

One thing about some companies offering jobs and posting them on other sites:  Why do you insist on having me register with your site, as if you are a service I am going to use?  I never understood that.  If I'm applying for one job, I really am not interested in any other jobs you are offering, especially if I saw them posted earlier.  It's something that bugs me.  It's almost as dumb as some companies that have an entire application to have me fill out, then have at the end "attach your resume", which has the EXACT info I just put in the application you made me fill out.  I get that it may be a database/filtering process, but at the same time I just find it not needed.  Just a pet peeve of mine.  

next phase of my job hunt is temp agencies.  I have several I'm going to apply to.  I did the temp route in the past, so I have a better idea of how to handle it.  Hope they are able to assist me in the way I need them to, rather than just try to plug me in somewhere to get a commission.

SOPA PIPA

As a content creator (which I am with this site), I am horrified that my country wants to censor and have the right to take people off the internet, and say they are doing it for me.  They are not doing it for me, they are doing it for them so they can control the flow of information.  What they really want is control of the internet, where I have to have a license to have this site, and you to have a license to view the internet.  They want the power, much like the power they have now to detain people against their will, to detain the digital rights and information of people they don't like (while saying they are "domestic terrorists").  I implore you to join me and many others opposing these laws, so we can all have an open and free internet.

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

http://blog.curry.com/stories/2012/01/18/sopaFollowTheMoney.html

My site's URL address

Just wanted to point out something about the web site's address.  If anyone ever notice I don't use my full first name, just the shortened one.  The reason I don't use the full name is because someone has it already, and decided to put his cute Tonka trucks on it.  Worst part is that it's a piss-poor layout, at least sub standard to my name's level, and it's not even an American who has it.  Guy who supposedly has my name is British, you know, America's lackey.  Guy also has my full name on Twitter, though I wouldn't use if I was able to get it.  Maybe I should try to lobby some sort of complaint and see if I can get both the site URL and Twitter handle.  No big deal to me since he's not American so I'm not affecting an real person's job.  Funny part is we could be related somehow, but I never met him, so I have no attachment to him.

Maybe I can get my sites above his on Google at some point.  I put more time in making my site look good and actually useful content-not random stock photos of trucks

Three Goals for 2012

I know this is late, and I was originally wasn't going to do anything like this, but I want to write what I hope for myself this year.  I won't say "resolutions", but goals for the year.  I didn't want to do something like this at first since I think these things are dumb.  The past weekend I saw someone I know and who somewhat inspires me have his goals written down what he wanted to achieve.  I figure I'd do that myself, and see if that will help me get to those goals.  There have been studies of putting a thought down somewhere helps one remember them.  So here's what my goals are:

1.  This is a real short tern goal, but get a job that pays pretty well.  I am now looking for work, applying to anyone and everyone at this point for a IT-type gig, mostly tech gig given my certifications.  I am hoping something comes to fruition.  One person gave me some temp agencies I should take a look at.  I am giving myself about a month to get the ball rolling on at least getting a job in IT.  If nothing is really happening there, I'm toni got try security work as a security guard.  At this point, my return to employment has been delayed and I need to get back into things.  Honestly, I hoped to have all this done by the end of the summer, but seeing that the organization that kept me strung along for months until it took them a whole five minutes to reject me, I couldn't look for work because of it (the program I tried to get into needed me unemployed and broke, so I stayed that way to keep myself eligible).  hindsight I should have taken the certifications class sooner and payed for them myself.  Oh well, live and learn.  The key thing is the short term goal is getting work.

2. Now my other goal is to get my blue belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.  So far that is slowly getting there.  I have advanced slightly in rank, but I am still a white belt.  I need to dedicate myself more and focus more on making sure my technique improves.  I also need to get my physical body a little better shape, more so that I can last longer in training.  

3. One other goal I have is to contract and simplify.  What I mean is that I want to get rid of some of the crap that I don't use and probably is weighing me down.  For example, I have a ton of DVDs that I never watch, or I don't have any need to watch.  I should get rid of them if I do not need them.  I also need to go around an see what else around me that I do not need.  I also did that with people lately, and decided to end communication with people that I don't need in my life or feel that they are weighing me down with their attitude and overall negativity.

Time to start building a compound? the media is making me think that

The new year has begun, and it's still the same stupidity.  I was watching the news this morning, where CNN and MSNBC are probably the worst programming to watch.  MOst of the time, all I see speaking to me on both morning shows are literally horse's asses, they just look like that.  I know morning programming is supposed to have a level of superficial, light news, but what most morning news programs have are at a level of "Idiocracy" stupidity.  I will say this, at least both cable stations are somewhat upfront in that they do not like anyone that isn't Democrat.  Seeing the coverage of the Iowa Caucuses the other night showed that.  Sure they had "Republican" analysts on, but they were as Republican as any Democrat found on Fox news (as in, tokens who sold out to said networks to get the contract to appear several times a year).  

Today, the stations were praising the jobless report, as in more people are finding jobs.  They have been doing this since late November, saying more people are being hired.  Note the time I said they started praising it-around Thanksgiving.  Know who hires after Thanksgiving??? SEASONAL JOBS!!  SO I will bet you  that in the next month or two, there will be the "OH NOES!!! THE ECONOMY IS BAD AGAIN!!! PEOPLE AREN'T WORKING OR LOST THEIR JOBS!!!"-nonsense, and it won't be pointed out that the people who are filing for unemployment again are the seasonal workers who just lost their temporary gigs.  

One thing the media didn't point out over the holidays was our President, the Constitutional Scholar and Lawyer, signed a bill into action that in short takes away a lot of out civil liberties.  It allows the military to detain anyone the government decides to detain.  Now, the President said he won't use this power, but that' alike having the cat say "I won't eat that bird I just locked myself in cage with."  The fact that Democrats try to be cutsey with they tyrannical ideas really bothers me.  At least republicans are somewhat more forthright in saying they want to take my rights away.  But the best part of this is that Democrats for all this time they had the power in all branches of Government STILL got nothing done.  Most of what they Achieved were highly cut down compromises or things that have been or are going to be blocked in Federal court.  

I'm not being pro-Republican here.  I think they are a bunch of glorified used car salesmen as well.  I'm just saying don't praise one scumbag crew without looking at the scumbaggery the other has done, which is just as bad or worse than the first scumbag crew.

I saw one other piece of propaganda/guilt trip job today.  Apparently the media is pro 1% (shocking I know), but saying that the true 1% are americans and the protesters are acting like whiney babies, not being appreciative of what they have compared to other nations.  It blew my mind when I saw that and just proves how disjointed and dysfunctional this whole society here is.  

I'm starting to think the whole idea of building a compound in the middle of the woods sounds like a good Idea.  I remember living in Pa, and as much as it sucked being isolated, it also was a calming time for me.  My ideal situation is get a place in the woods, put a generator or two in in case the power went out to run the essential things like well, septic and refrigerator.  I'd stockpile on Military MREs  and water in case food supplies go short.  I would put one of those huge satellite dishes for C- and KU-band broadcasts, rather than relying on a cable provider.  I would still have to figure out Internet access, but other than that I should be set when the world goes into chaos.  

Social Media madness

First off,  Happy belated holidays.  I hope it is going well for you.

I spent the past couple days looking at my phone, and realized I have too many social networks.  I have, and these I can recall being a part of:

Facebook

Twitter

Google+

Oink

Foursquare

Path

And these all don't really jive together.  I have to consolidate into a couple.  i have it set up  where I post on Google+, and at some point it is posted on twitter and Facebook.  Personally, I rather work with Google+ primarily, but it seems people are slow to join (or at least those I know).  I don't' know why, I think Google+ is the superior product.  I like Oink as well, it's like a foursquare for your stuff (like saying you like one dish at a restaurant, or product found in a store).  

Path is a new one, that promotes keeping your circle of friends on a social network small.  It limits the amount of people you can add, and it also allows you to be more open due to that (it assumes the people you put in your circle are close enough for you to be more open with them).  I like it a lot, but again, people are slow to adopt.  

Facebook is the juggernaut in all this, and its made it easy for people to just be there, rather than looking for better options.  I have a Facebook account, but I find it less and less rewarding to use.  Twitter I use a lot, and get a lot of news and info from.  With Facebook, I found a good way to freshen up a bit:  I cleared out a lot of people I "friended" on it, and made it more like Path, only people I trust and interact with are in my circle of friends.  it's help keep the static down, and a slightly better experience.

I have debated getting rid of my Facebook account and just using Twitter, Oink, Google+, and maybe Path.  But I need others I know using it more.

I ask you all a couple things

1.  please please PLEASE try the other programs I listed.  It's not Facebook, but I think these others are better.  some let you have more control and ownership of your data, and I think they are more enjoyable.

2. go through your friends lists/circles/whatever, and clear out those you don't' talk to in real life at all.  it will make any social media experience better 

feelings at the end of the year

Time to put into words what I have been up to and feeling lately. 

First feeling I have had since the last entry has been anxiety.  I've been looking for work and so far there has not been any answer to my resumes.  Granted, it is the end of the year and no one generally hires at this time of year, but it's still something that is getting me nervous.  I'm hoping in the new year, I'll get some responses to the resumes I have sent recently, and not the span I have been getting due to a fraudulent posing on careerbuilder.com.  

This leads to my next feeling: frustration:  Frustration with the "job websites' out there and how for the most part they are the only way to find work.  That's the problem if you are unemployed.  It's either you log into your account, and get a page that deceptively makes it look like another page of the site, but in reality it's an ad to get you to sign up for some school and get bombarded with emails about all their offerings, or some service like "hey, there's something wrong with your resume, click here to find out how to improve it" BS, where you click on the link if you didn't notice it's an ad, then you are falling down that internet hole called their website.  Next thing you know you sign up for something you didn't want and get billed at some point.  My favorite part is when it's the actual website (like Monster or Careerbuilder do), and try to make you pay for their services, but it's really a third party, again trying to phish for your info.  

It's sucks that these sites, and there are others as well, that do this and have the balls to say they are "better than craigslist".  Like I said, someone who posted a job opening on Careerbuilder's site was a fraud, and when it was discovered, I already applied to the ad.  I get an email from Careerbuider saying the ad was a fraud, and don't respond to anything they send.  I wrote back to Careerbuilder to see what they could offer me if there is any further problems.  All they gave me was an email address to write to in case this person contacts me (which felt stupid since THEY KNEW WHO WAS THE PROBLEM, and told me NOT to respond to anything he sends me) with the bad email attached.  So they wanted me to open shady emails and potentially expose more of my info to him, then forward the email to them.  What a bunch of morons.  Thank God for Gmail, and how quick it learns what I consider spam when I report it to them.  I think I got that all cleared up now (no new ones have came into my inbox).  

It really sucks how shady these job sites work, and how they are more or less predators on those who don't have work.  I use Dice.com as well, which is more of an IT job site, and that seems to be less shady.  I was using Indeed.com, which is really an aggregator site of all the major job-sites (like a giant toilet for all this shit to float in).  So on top of having no job, I now have to really worry about my info I send out to any potential employer.  It's really a stressful thing.  It's getting closer and closer for me to try to go to my fall-back job: security guard. I have no clue when that choice will be made, but it is something I have to consider.

My other source of stress is the holiday season.  Mostly gift getting and giving.  It's amazing how thick headed people are when I say I don't want anything and they insist on getting me stuff.  So I know what I'm getting since I relented and gave some ideas for people to get me something.  On the other hand, I was a mess this past couple weeks getting people gifts.  My big thing is I don't want to look like an idiot when I give something, so I stress over it.  It's really stupid and y girlfriend ran the gauntlet of it's funny to see me like that, to its just plain annoying and I should just shut up.  It's less than a week away form Christmas, and I'm short a couple gifts.  SO I have to be thankful for Visa or Amex for making gift cards.  Hell, I wanted to go all gift cards again this season, but I that was vetoed and all gifts are joint gifts (where it's me and the girlfriend, not the California-type gift...sorry to disappoint).

I don't want to end on a negative note, so I'll talk about a positive feeling I had Sunday night.  Joy and a sense of accomplishment.  Sunday night was my BJJ academy's annual Christmas dinner.  It was held at the same Brazilian Rodizio restaurant as last year.  The food was excellent, and the party and atmosphere was even better.  This event has a raffle for the guests, and I won a rash-guard (shirt for no-gi BJJ to protect for mat burns and rashes), that go with the shorts I won last year.  So I guess I should go to No-Gi training once in a while.  Even some of  the non academy member guests got prizes (ny girlfriend won a scarf).  After the raffle was the last promotions of the year. I didn't expect to get any promotion, I felt I wasn't any better than when I started (but I'm tough on myself, so dont' take my word on how good I am).  I did get two stripes added to my white belt (means I have progressed a bit), and that pretty much puts me half-way to the next belt level.  I saw a bunch of the guys I train get promoted to higher belts (and they deserved it, they are damn good), so it puts the talent gap no different than where we were before.  The gap didn't change but all our games have elevated.   Sort of proves what one higher belt told me months ago when he was visiting the school:

Belts are nothing more than something to hold your Gi top together.   Don't judge yourself to who's belt is what color, just go and roll and whoever is better that day will be better.  It doesn't mean anything other than both should want to practice more to get better together.

I feel proud for what I earned, and I'm proud for the others who advanced as well.  I am proud to be a part of the academy I train at.  It's one of the smartest things I chose to get into, and it's really helped me make my life better: physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Professor Jucao is a great man, and I am proud to train under him.   He's the type of person you want to do your best because he deserves you to do your best for him, since he gives his best.  I've met a lot of good people, and I find my self feeling im in a better place than where I was before I started BJJ.

Reflecting,

So today was the sixth anniversary of my dad dying. I was awake this morning about 1am, when six years ago at that time I heard the loud thud. That thud was my dad's body falling out of bed. I won't get into the specifics about what happened (God knows I have written enough about it).

I will say that even after six years I still feel a level of "I should have done more." I still think I should have pushed my dad to go to the hospital the night before. He complained of having indigestion (or so he said, he had his Nitro pills out the last conversation I had with him). We were yelling that I wanted to take him to get checked out, but he didn't want to go and miss work the next day. Part of me thinks I should have called the ambulance then an force him to go, or get my mom and sis to help push him to go. For God's sake, at The time there were two hospitals near us, and I couldn't get him to go to either.

Today I was at my computer doing the job search thing and I didn't feel comfortable being here. I felt like I had to get out, so I spent the afternoon walking around Manhattan. It gave me a chance to get some air and think some stuff out. After working through some stuff, it gave me some clarity about my life. First, thinking leads to not doing. Part of my problem (still) is I think of doing something, and keep thinking of it or think my way out of doing it. Rather, I should think and then do, that's it. Seems irrational and impulsive, but it's also not going to be stalling and wasting energy and time on inaction. This is something I need to remember in life and in BJJ.

Second, a person is as only as good as the people he/she keeps around. I need to get rid of some of the dead weight being negative in their thoughts and actions. I don't need that in my life.

So starting tonight, I'm going to start to disassociate myself with a whole bunch of people. Some may be surprised, some may not care.

As happy as the season is, I have sadness today and other parts of this month (my uncle passed away close to Christmas). My goal it to make it a happy time again by remembering the happy times I've had with them.

Illuminati+WWE=BcS

The Bowl Championship Series, or the BcS (the c is silent), is the supposed "best solution" to determine what NCAA football team is the best in the nation.  Rather have the top teams in the nation play each other on the field and prove who's the best, or at least who wants it most, the cartel that is the NCAA and university presidents involved with the six major college conferences decided to have computers and people who either never played the sport or fit their agenda, vote on who are the top two teams in the country.  This year, there is a possibility that two teams from the Southeastern Conference can play to be who is the national champion.  These two teams, LSU and Alabama, played earlier this year in one of the most boring games this season.  But since ABC/CBS/ESPN-the scum who like to influence and rig these things for their interstes-kept hyping the game as "THE GAME OF THE CENTURY!!!", all the sheep believed it was one of the best games ever played.  Mind you, Penn State and Illinois played a couple weeks earlier played an even better dramatic game, but the same people said "that was a sloppy game", probably because neither team was anointed by the major networks to be the best.

What gets me is that the national championship may not be played between two teams who may not have won their conference.  How stupid is that???  Mind you, those who do with their conference championsips wont even get a say in the discussion.  All this proves that the fix is in, and the NCAA won't fix it since they make money anyway, so why fix it.  My favorite remark I have heard is that the NCAA doesn't really have much say in the Division 1 format.  That alone makes no sense to me.

To be a champion in anything, you should be able to kick everyone's ass to get to the top, not kiss the asses of those who have no clue about what it takes to be the best.  If you try to knock off the guy at the top of the mountain and you don't, get in the back of the line, you had your shot.  Then again, as many say, I don't look at the QUALITY of the win/loss, which is another subjective BS.  A win's a win, a loss is a loss, it should be that simple.

If I was given control of College Football, I would propose the following ideas:

1. PLAYOFFS!!! every conference winner plus top 5 at large (which would make a total of 16 teams).  none go to bowl games, just play in the playoffs.  

2. If the BcS has to be around, either eliminate the automatic qualifier conferences, or require all of them to expand to at least 14 teams and have a conference championship.  Key part of expansion is any new team has to be regional additions (no Boise State in the Big East kind of thing).  Means more teams would in theory have a shot.

3. Eliminate all contractual obligations of the bowls and make them bid for teams.  Yes that means no Big Ten/Pac 12 Rose Bowls as their agreement says, but make these bowls try to get the best teams.

4. Since everyone in NCAA has a hard on for having computers and journalists who never played the game choose the final game, how about have them pick all the non-conference games for every team.  If they have SOOOOO much faith in the system, then trust them to create the non-conference schedules.

The past couple seasons have started to make me more and more stop watching NCAA football.  Despite some of the amazing history and energy the games have (much like soccer games around the world, if not more), the half-assed approach to choosing a winner is a turn off.  At least when the Giants don't make the Super Bowl, is because they either sucked that year, or were beaten by someone who wanted it more on the field, not in some vote by an Illuminati group.

How I feel about my alma mater and the situation it finds itself in

This may seem like a harsh entry, but I feel a lot of emotion about what has happened at my alma mater. Despite what has happened I still am a proud graduate of Penn State University. It's a fantastic academic institution that I feel honored to have been allowed to attend.

As some of you know, there's a scandal at Penn State University. Former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was indicted on several molestation charges. I'm not going to be neutral about him, especially after the NBC interview he did recently. If you feast he grand jury investigation, and it really is some horrific stuff, what is being alleged isn't something that people made up. Also the alleged number of victims make it really hard not to believe that this creep did them.

What bothers me about the coverage of the scandal is that the media really has missed the focus of the story. They should be focusing on the victims, the high-level officials that failed to report the guy to the cops, and the creep, hounding him and making his life a living Hell. What the morons in the media have been doing is focusing on Joe Paterno, the now former head coach of the football team. The media has railroaded him and caused the school to fire him, when in reality he didn't do anything legally wrong. Granted there are the moral questions that people have for his actions or lack of action. I have two theories about them:

He is fiercely loyal to the school, being there for over 60 years. He has worked for and given back to the school all those years. In the grand jury investigation, he was told of one incident by one of his graduate assistant (I'll have more on that moron later), and went to the athletic director and a university vice president, who also runs the campus cops and has ties to local authorities. THEY didn't do anything, and I'm sure Paterno figured the school would do the right thing-he's done the right things for the school, they would do the same.
Paterno may have wanted to go to the cops outside of the campus cops, but he isn't allowed to legally. He is contractually obligated to the school, and it may or not be in there he has to go through the chain of command. If he goes outside to authorities, he would violate the contract and is legally accountable.

I am waiting to hear from Paterno before I make a decision on what he did or didn't do. I will note he was going to answer all the questions at one point and the university cancelled his press conference at the last minute. That should be a flag right there. Then again the school has wanted Paterno out for at least 15 years, but they didn't have the guts to fire him until this came up.

Now about Mike McQueary, the assistant coach who was the graduate assistant who found Sandusky in the shower with a kid. This guy has always been a moron. He wasn't the best QB for Penn State, and wasn't the brightest guy on campus. Why isn't he fired? He not only didn't go to the cops, he apparently didn't stop the alleged assault. If he was a real man, he'd stop the assault, beat the guy down, and called the cops. He wouldn't have ran home, cry to his father, then later on tell Paterno. If a kid is being attacked, the sicko doing it should be dealt with it harshly and violently. They are a plague that should be taken out. They prey on weak kids, and potentially turn those victims into predators as well. The fact he wasn't fired astounds me, considering anyone else mentioned in the grand jury investigation was canned.

But according to the great media in this country,they make it sound like Paterno is the kid toucher. Why isn't the media storming Sandusky's house and wherever he is to make his life a living Hell? Why isn't McQueary being hounded? And, any ex-player who defends Paterno gets crap. Ask Franco Harris what the cowards who can't handle one mans opinion are doing. He's trying to be forced off charity boards he works so hard for, all because he supported not only his college coach, but someone he calls a mentor in life.

I feel for the victims, especially since they put their trust in the scumbag Sandusky. He basically made his organization to help him find kids to brutally victimize, while helping those at the same time. What a sick concept. To be honest, while Sandusky was talking in that NBC interview where he said he like children to horse around with but not sexually attracted to them (why his lawyer allowed him to say that blows my mind), I was hoping to hear a gunshot and then a dial-tone. I really hate crimes and abuse of children, and I have no issue if the predators were drug out into the street and viciously killed.

I should end this here. This is my opinion. You don't have to agree, just respect it. If you can't do that, you don't respect me, and I probably should t bother dealing with you.

My Aunt

I've been sitting here about to start editing my resume and make it all pretty and professional, but I couldn't get the thoughts of my late Aunt out of my mind.  She passed away last week and the wake and funeral was this past weekend.  

Wakes and funerals are emotionally and physically draining events.  This one was no different.  Seeing my family go through this ordeal was difficult.  I walked into the funeral parlor and saw my Uncle and cousins in there, and gave my condolences.  I started talking to them, and I sort of knew what they were going through, but at the same time I didn't.  I understood the emotions and pains that come from the loss of a parent, but that's as far as any real similar feelings end.   See, my Aunt has not been in best of health for years, due to an affliction that attacks different parts of the body.  Talking to my cousins and even my mom and other Aunt, they all sort of had a level of acceptance that this day was coming.  I don't know about these feelings that well, since the only parent I loss was a sudden event.  

What was nice and interesting is that around the room were photos on boards and in picture frames.  It was a level of comfort to see, as well as a impromptu history lesson as well about family.  There were a lot of pictures of my Aunt with my mom and dad, and me and my sister.  There were also pictures of both my family and my Uncle's family, and it was just a beautiful thing to see.  I think this is what wakes are mostly for: not to morn the loss of someone, but also celebrate and learn more about the person.  I did that in this experience seeing all the people from all the organizations my Aunt did work for.  I knew of a lot of her work, but seeing it in person amazed me and made me feel good that she was so active, especially during her time of illness.

So Monday was the funeral, where I was a pallbearer for, and the burial.  All three days, the two wakes and funeral, I stayed for all the events with my mom and sister.  Partly because I drove, but also my family needed it.  Spending the time I did with my family dug up some memories of my Aunt.  She wasn't just my Aunt, but also my Godmother (which also led to my Uncle to be my sponsor for Confirmation-seemed right and logical).  She gave me a lot of advice, which a lot of it came from her knowledge and devout faith in the Bible.  She found a lot of comfort in the Word, which after speaking to my mom I learned that she believes this came from the loss of my cousin almost 30 years ago.  Sometimes I didn't need to hear about God, but a lot of the time I was able to "get" what she was talking about.  

I also remember the times I sent at my Aunt's house.  She and my Uncle had a house in Far Hills, NJ-a place I still joke I need to make sure I have my bug spray due to the WASPs out there.  Along with this is the screaming irony that my Catholic Aunt and Uncle lived out there.  I remember as a kid going out with my mom and sister to house sit because one of my cousin's colleges had a parent day.  I also remember the Sheep my Aunt and Uncle had on the property.  They had them for their kids so they can be a part of the 4H fair, and also I'm sure there was some sort of tax break or something.  When these "parent days" came up, they JUST HAPPEN to be the same time the pregnant sheep were close to giving birth.  At some point my mom swore it was a conspiracy against her.  Speaking of the 4H fair, I remember going to that with my Aunt and Uncle, seeing the sheep there for show and sale, and it was just a fun event to go to every summer.  Even when I would go to her house for a week was fun, and quiet.  I miss those days, and just all the happiness that was always in the house.  The house was a mile off the main road and it was isolated form most noise, so there was a level of peacefulness.  The parties that used to be held there in the summer were always fun especially with the open space around the house to play and walk around. 

Before I get into a more emotional state here, I will leave this subject now.  I will say this:  Don't ever hate your family.  you may really dislike them, but do not hate provided what the problem isn't something extremely vile.  When you pass away, you should want to have an overcrowded wake and funeral, full of people there that you impacted their lives.  You don't want a wake like my one Uncle had, that only had 10 people at the wake and funeral.  He hated and drove family away.  My Aunt that passed away had the full and overcrowded one, and it was beautiful.

I also wanted to say that you are never smarter than the older generation.  Whenever you think you are, they always part some knowledge that shows that you really are not at their level.  Those who do think they are smarter then those who are older than them, they look even dumber than they are.

10/30/11 post

Fist a quick update on my quest for certifications.  I passed my Network + certification test last Mnday.  So I have A+ and Network + certifications, and the next step is to get a job.  I"m starting to overhaul my resume and soon after that I will be hitting all the job sites and whatnot to get work.  Worse comes to worse, I can try to also get security work.

Saturday night, I went to a holloween party in Astoria, Queens.  I went to a place called to Tippin Inn with some friends to celebrate Holloween.  It's a nice spot, and I've already gone to another spot owned by the same people.  The people also own the Italian restaurant next store where food could be ordered.  So after a night of drinks, laughs, and just having a good time, it was time where many of the party-goers were leaving.  This is the point where things get interesting.

Let me first say a couple things.  First I'm not going into too many details here, for various reasons.  I'll try to be as detailed as possible, but not getting too specific.  So, I was across the street with a couple friends looking at someone's car since it was recently in an accident.  So I'm looking at the damage, and out of the corner of my eye, there's a black unmarked police car in the middle of the street questioning someone.  I look over and see that it's someone I know that's being questioned by four cops, who were in his face.  Apparently this guy was crossing the street, and this cop car almost hit him.  The cops jumped out and were quesitoning him and harassing him over jaywalking.  My friend next to me took his phone out and taped the whole thing, then another friend came out of the bar and also taped it, and both were questiong the cops to find out what they were doing.  Questions like "What are you doing?", "What did he do?", "What precinct are you guys from?", things of that nature.  Thse cocksucking cops were all cocky and dicks to everyone.  When my friend asked were they from the 114, a cop said "You know it!!" and continued to harass my friend.  So several more people came out of the bar to see and question what's going on.  Eventually a Sargent's car came by, and saw the situation and rtried to diffuse it.  

Rather being good cops that you wouldn't wish their badge numbers were involved in a call that involved the numbers 1-8-7, and letting my friend go, they handcuff him, put him in their car and were taking him to the precinct "to run him for warrants and issue him a summons".   Needless to say that raised the tension, and they drove off.  I went back and escorted some people back to a friends house nearby to try to cool them off (who were beyond heated which damn near got physical-both with a cop and me trying to calm them down).  In the end, the guy was let go rather quickly with his summons and we met up at a friends house.  What happened is that the bar owner knows some people in the precinct, and called them, which led to my friend getting let go quickly.  The fact that my friend was being taken to the precinct bothered me.  He just got a summons, which should have taken five minutes to write out and to check his info in the computer shouuld have taken less than five minutes.  These assholes probably had their quota to fill, and wanted to look like they were some badass cops by taking my friend away.  

Again most cops are cool and not bad people.  Apparently the others are put in this precinct.  These cocksuckers were busting my friends balls and trying to get something on him because the dumbass driving his car almost hit my friend, and the other dickless wonders in the car got out to intimitdate him by surrounding him over fucking JAYWALKING.  This precinct I hear also likes to hang outside bars or restaurants and ticket anyone outside smoking (but put "Littering" in the ticket), or stop people for bullshit traffic infractions (like a motorcylce license place slightly bent).  I also hear that allegedly this precinct may or may not be under investigations for corruptions and other various illegal practices.  Seeing how these pigs worked Saturday night, I have no respect for anyone wearing the badge that works in that precinct.  The ones I have delt with and seen working are just a bunch of pussies hiding behind their badge, and have their batons to make up for being dickless.  Any halfway good cop should be ashamed to be in the same "Brotherhood" with these assholes, and should call their people to try to get the trash taken out of the department, let alone in the 114.   THen again, it's the end of the month, and these jerkoffs are probably trying to fill their quotas.  Hell, i think it's the citizens' right and obligation to call this precinct to find out what's going on there.  You know, to make sure the people are being served properly and to just aks questions of the officers there.  What's the harm?

If I get any video of the incident, I'll surely post it to show you what a cop shouldn't be.  And if anyone has issue with how I feel about these cops or this precinct, you either don't know, or don't care how much of a toilet that precinct is and the turds that work in there.  

Ok, enough ranting on these pigs trying to be cops.  I have to give props to the bar owner, he has always treated myself and my friends well, and he went out of his way to help out Saturday night.  The guy owns the Tippin Inn and No Partners, and I will definatly go to both and spend my money at these establishments.  The people who work there are stand-up people and deserve my business.  I wrote in my last post about relationships and tha'ts something business should work on with their customers to get the business.  The guy who run Tippin Inn and No Partners gets it, and therefore will get my business.  

Speaking of business relationships, I should go back to this Astoria buisness, it's been a while since i stopped in there, and I have not kept that relationship strong.  Maybe when I go to one of these bars next time I'll stop in, I would be in the neighborhood.